I learned of our friend Paul’s cancer the day before my flight to England, by way of an email from his wife, my good friend Becky. We lived next door to each other for 22 years until our family moved out of state a year ago. Their three children and our youngest four grew up playing in adjacent yards, forming happy friendships in the process. Separating from these great neighbors was the most difficult part of our move.

Becky and I shared a love for being stay-at-home moms and found our school commitments were twice as fun if we did them together. Paul and Nate had much in common, too, owning their own businesses and working hard at them. Both men put their families ahead of themselves and also enjoyed neighborly conversations about politics and the economy.

When Paul and Becky learned he had cancer, they also learned it was everywhere inside of him, and except for radiation, nothing would help. Their sons rushed home from their colleges, and their daughter stayed home from high school. They camped in the master bedroom, spending as much time together as possible, which turned out to be just three weeks.

Paul was a spectacular dad who loved orchestrating good times. He flew planes, rode motorcycles, drove SUVs before they were popular and wore cowboy boots every day. He also had a heart for the down-and-outers of society, alcoholics, abandoned women, the homeless. He was generous in his giving of time and money, and Becky has heard one story after another about his selfless help.

In Paul’s last days, he found comfort in the words of John 10, which Becky read aloud to him again and again. He especially loved the part about the Good Shepherd speaking to his sheep and the sheep recognizing his voice. Today Paul has audibly heard the Shepherd’s voice and has followed him through the gate and right into paradise. Amidst the many losses, this one great gain brings his family deep comfort.

Becky and I spent Sunday afternoon together, sharing our sorrows and identifying unnumbered similarities in the last weeks of our husbands’ lives. Because earthly death was in God’s plans for both Paul and Nate, widowhood was in his plans for Becky and me. As she was seeking God’s sustenance in the days immediately following Paul’s death she said, “God called each day ‘good’ in the Bible, and I believe he wants me to do the same. So every morning I wake up and say, ‘This will be a good day.’ ”

Paul had not been afraid to die, despite great pain. Even as  breathing became a struggle, he rested in the knowledge of where he would wake up after his final breath. Nurses testify that patients without a relationship with the Lord hang onto life at all costs. For Paul (and also Nate), the assurance of an afterlife with Jesus dispelled all fear, and neither one of them resisted death when it arrived.

One of Paul’s boys told me, “Our two families will have a stronger bond than ever now, having gone through such similar trials. And even though we don’t live next door to each other anymore, Paul and Nate have become neighbors again… in a much, much better neighborhood.”

“I am the good Shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep.” (John 10:14-15)