The Pet Nobody Wants

Although life’s big problems can swamp us, sometimes it’s the little things that do us in. Married couples discover this when they learn they don’t squeeze the toothpaste alike. But all of us can get peeved at small stuff that eventually become our “pet peeves.”

I remember being at a couple’s party with Nate years ago where we played The Newlywed Game. One of the questions they asked me while Nate was out of the room was, “What is your husband’s pet peeve?”

I said, “Oh, that’s easy. Wasting time in traffic.”

When Nate came back in, they asked him the same question, and he said, “That’s easy. Cold toast.”

Though he’d probably told me many times, I never corrected the problem because cold toast didn’t bother me. Poor guy. No wonder it became his pet peeve.

Today I did battle with one of my own pet peeves. I’ve always been bothered by that last sliver of bar soap that’s hard to finish. It gets small, then won’t suds-up, and easily slips away.

After “losing” my paper-thin soap in the water multiple times today, I decided to toss it out. (When I did, I heard Mom say, “During the Great Depression we had to make our own! Don’t waste that!”) It didn’t feel good throwing it away, but it instantly eliminated my pet peeve. Besides, it sure was fun putting a plump new bar in the soap dish.

I’ll bet God has a long list of pet peeves about me. In studying Scripture I’ve seen what kind of person he wants me to be, and in a thousand ways I’m not. The Old Testament tells us about God getting peeved enough to obliterate the entire human race. Later he threatened to do away with all the Children of Israel, which amounted to millions.

No doubt he gets pretty peeved with the rest of us, too. And my guess is that his “Pet Peeves List” hasn’t changed too much in thousands of years. So do we have to worry about being zapped into oblivion? No, if we work at one thing: not getting him peeved.

But how?

Just as earthly parents appreciate their children’s’ desire to improve and then eagerly help them to do it, so God responds to our desire to change by rushing toward us to facilitate it. It’s like a young child asking his mother for money to buy her a Mother’s Day gift. Happily, she gives it to him. God hopes we’ll act in godliness, and when we say we want to, he’ll empower us to make it happen.

My only question now is, should I dig that soap-sliver out of the trash?

“Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” (Philippians 2:12-13)

Don’t worry. Be happy.

My grandson Nicholas, a new 3 year old, has recently finished potty training and is now enjoying the perks of no more nappy changes, along with the delight of wearing picture underwear.

Katy and Hans motivated him by using a reward chart with happy-face stickers for each success. Taped above the toilet, those lengthening lines of stickers gave Nick encouragement each time he successfully used the toilet.

When we were 3, a happy-face sticker was all we needed to make us happy. As we grew older, we needed bigger rewards like trips to the ice cream store, allowances, a day at the beach, or sleep-overs. Eventually we needed paychecks, new cars, vacation getaways.

Is it ok to seek happiness?

Scripture is dotted with quite a few happy faces. Ecclesiastes says, “I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.” (3:12-13)

We see that it’s ok to be happy, as long as we recognize it as God’s gift. When we begin feeling entitled to it, God will surely withdraw it. Our being happy isn’t his undercard. He’d rather see us obeying his instructions, studying his Word, drawing closer to him, submitting to his will.

But most of us just want to be happy. Sometimes it comes to us briefly but then disappears, making us angry. So what should we do? Are we supposed to find contentment in un-happiness?

Another Ecclesiastes passage provides the answer: “When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other.” (7:14) God wants us to connect happiness and sadness to him, knowing there are important purposes in both.

This morning I struggled in prayer for more than 90 minutes over some exceptionally difficult issues, pouring out my longings one after another. I ended by expressing frustration to God for his lack of action on my requests after so many years of praying. And I was quite unhappy!

He quickly chided me, reminding me (in my thoughts) that happiness without end isn’t scheduled till heaven. Claiming it now is getting the cart before the horse.

Later, in my Scripture reading, he said the same thing in a different way: “Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise.” (James 5:13) In other words, even when he gives a bit of happiness, the point of it isn’t to please us but to motivate us to praise him. When happiness comes, we’re not to hold onto it but are to give it right back to him.

And when we do that, we get something far better than our own happy faces: the happy face of our Lord.

“May the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful.” (Psalm 68:3)

All Tangled Up

When Lars was 8, he loved roaming our neighborhood in search of pets, but not the traditional kind. Throughout his childhood he had a heart for all things cold-blooded: turtles, birds, lizards, fish, and (gulp) snakes.

I well remember the day he came running into the kitchen with a 3 foot long black garter snake draped over his arm. “Mom! Mom! Look what I found!”

He brought the snake’s ugly face up close to mine and said, “Look at his tongue!”

I lunged backwards, filled with fear but trying not to show it. “Yes, I see. A snake!”

“Pet him, Mom. He’s really smooth!”

I forced myself to comply, not wanting to dampen Lars’ enthusiasm, and gingerly touched the snake’s middle.

“Smooth, huh?” Lars said.

“Very,” I said, quickly withdrawing my hand.

As Lars talked he lovingly stroked the length of his new friend like it was a puppy. “It’s ok if I keep him, isn’t it?”

“Only if he stays outside.”

Lars and his snake disappeared, but soon he called me to the front porch. He’d found an old wooden bushel basket and had filled it with fresh grass. “I’m gonna catch crickets for him, Mom. He can live right here by the front door.”

But I knew that snake would slither out of his basket the first chance he got, and by morning, he was gone. Lars was disappointed, but I was elated.

It’s probably wrong to hate one of God’s creatures, but I hate snakes. They’re predatory, quick moving, and unpredictable. That’s why I was startled yesterday to see a snake while walking Jack. It was wound around a small tree in our neighborhood, as big as Lars’ garter snake, but brown.

Fear flashed through me, but in seconds I saw the snake was only an innocent vine crawling up a tree.

But the vine wasn’t really that innocent. It had nearly strangled the life out of the tree. Bulges in the trunk resembled prey being squeezed by a python, and it had climbed high enough to coil around a second tree and then a third. The vine, once a tiny, supple stem of pretty ground cover had grown to 30 feet of stiff strength.

Many of life’s temptations start small just like the vine but end up squeezing the life out of us. It might be a destructive relationship, an addictive habit, an inappropriate goal, or just our belief in a lie. We think we’re stronger than we are and have more will power than we do. The “vine” tickles our ankles, but we ignore it, and it climbs our legs. Before long it’s gripping our hearts and we can’t free ourselves.

But God owns the clippers and is a pruning expert. All it takes is our permission for him to make the cut.

I probably won’t tamper with our neighborhood forest, but it’ll be interesting to see who prevails: the tree or the vine.

“Throw off… the sin that so easily entangles.” (Hebrews 12:1)