Some days go exactly as planned. Others seem to belong to someone else’s life. For example, as we were preparing to go to Sunday morning church yesterday, we ended up at a hospital ER instead. It wasn’t a big emergency and all is well now, but there’s nothing like a trip to the hospital to reignite gratitude for the many days we don’t end up there.

During this last year God has been training me to dig for reasons to be thankful in every situation, always. In the process, I’ve asked him a lot of questions:

“You mean if I’m having a heart attack, I’m supposed to be thankful?”

“Yes,” is his answer. “In all circumstances, even a heart attack.”

“What about if a grandchild gets badly hurt?”

“Look for me in it,” he says.

“If someone precious dies?”

“Watch for my blessing.”

“But surely you don’t mean we’re to be thankful for tragedy!”

“I do,” he says, “because I’ll bring good from it.

This kind of thinking goes against us. In fact, it grates on us. It seems upsidedown and definitely isn’t fair. So why does he ask this of us?

As always, he has a good answer. Actually, lots of them. Today I offer 10 of his reasons to follow this strange advice:

• Because he recognizes that being thankful is often difficult, even sacrificial, and appreciates our willingness: “Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving.” (Psalm 50:14)
• Because we’re going against the norm when we thank God in our misery, and others notice: “For who sees anything different in you?” (1 Corinthians 4:7)
• Because when we’re struggling, he wants us to identify those helping us: “I urge that… thanksgivings be made for… people.” (1 Timothy 2:1)
• Because it’s a way to show God we love him: “You are my God, and I will give thanks to you.” (Psalm 118:28)
• Because searching for blessings drives us to Scripture: “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly… with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” (Colossians 3:16)
• Because we need to remind ourselves continually it’s God we should thank: “Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Ephesians 5:20)
• Because being grateful in hardship acknowledges we’re confident God is still in charge: “Let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken.” (Hebrews 12:28)
• Because we demonstrate that even if it seems God doesn’t like us anymore, we believe nothing can separate us from his love: “His steadfast love endures forever!” (Psalm 107:1)
• Because when we show a willingness to find blessings in hardship, it glorifies Him: “The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies Me.” (Psalm 50:23)
• Because if we follow his instructions, we’ll be at peace: “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.” (Colossians 3:15)

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

The holidays offer great times to get extended family members together, and most families try to do it. We’re no different, and the first grouping has just arrived. Hans and Katy, who live in north England, flew across the Atlantic yesterday and ended their long, tiring journey at my house, about dinnertime.

The little ones, ages 3, 2, and 2, hopped out of the van and came bolting toward me in a little pack of enthusiasm, arms spread wide, yelling, “MeeMee! MeeMee!” It was a greeting of love I won’t soon forget! Despite battling jet lag, they held up beautifully through the evening, and when they saw the welcome-cake Louisa had baked, their eyes opened wide! (In a phone call from Britain several days before, I’d asked them what kind of cake they each liked best. Their preferences, green, pink and black, were all baked inside.)

Equally exciting, though, was meeting their new little cousin, Emerald. By the end of the day her little head had been covered with heartfelt kisses and cuddles, and I learned that 2 year old Evelyn has a baby growing in her tummy, too. The fact that she has a new brother or sister growing inside her mommy’s tummy might have had something to do with her announcement.

Next week our census will increase as Linnea’s family of 5 arrives, along with Nelson who will be coming home from Armenia via commitments in Denver, Montana, and Kona. Also on hand will be Lars and Louisa from Chicago, and of course Klaus, based near me year-round. And that’s all of us.

Expectations are running high that events will unfold smoothly, favorite traditions will be kept, good health will hold, and happiness will reign. What family doesn’t hope for all that at the holidays? We picture a Thomas Kincaid painting with fluffy snow on the ground, children playing without bickering, and everyone thrilled with their Christmas gifts.

It’s when this kind of optimism is soaring that we have to be most careful. I don’t think any family hasn’t experienced holiday disappointment during one celebration or another. Maybe it’s distressing conversations or friction during mealtimes, and they’ve become as much a holiday tradition as Christmas brunch. None of us want that, but gathering flawed people together with hopes for a perfect occasion is hardly logical.

So what can be done?

1. I can work to model an example of cheerfulness, regardless of what others do.
2. I can commit each holiday get-together to God’s care, beforehand.
3. I can diffuse stress by interjecting praise and gratitude.

And if all that fails, I can simply dish up the cake!

“Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

The widow who owned our cottage before us (let’s call her Jane) was extremely generous. In our negotiations before the sale, she asked permission through her realtor to leave a few things in the house when she moved out. We agreed, and she sent a typed list.

A few days later, our realtor gave us a second list, and eventually a third. We were glad to have what she didn’t want and said yes to all of it.

When we took possession of the house, we found out how enormous her generosity had been. She left towels, sheets, bedspreads, pillows, blankets, dishes, glasses, flatware, kitchen utensils, pots, pans, an electric mixer, a crock pot, a toaster, and a blender. We also found cleaning products, paper goods, and office supplies.

In the basement were tools, everything from vices to drills to saws and hammers, along with nails, screws, nuts, bolts and 3 levels. She left gardening gloves, clay pots, clippers and trowels, as well as brooms, mops, rakes, and snow shovels. There were beach towels and sand toys, snow toys and sleds. She even left a grill with charcoal and lighter fluid. And she walked away from all her furniture, including several valuable antiques and a spinet piano, complete with a set of hymnals.

Nate and I were stunned. Our plan had been to fill the house with garage-sale finds, a process that would have taken years of hunting. Through the realtors we offered to pay Jane, but she wouldn’t hear of it. We asked to thank her in person, but she declined.

After we moved in, we had a year of fun surprises, new finds tucked here and there, testifying to one woman’s extreme generosity.

What causes someone to bless others with such extravagance when there’s nothing in it for her? Many of us are willing to give generously if our name goes on a brick, is announced over a P.A., or is posted on a list, but what about just giving to give? Are we good at that?

Most of what God does for us is giving just to give. He does it around the clock, whether we thank him or not, because he fervently loves us. For our part, we’re often guilty of loving ourselves with such intensity we don’t notice what he’s doing for us day-in and day-out. Instead we categorize his gifts under “I-earned-it” or “I-deserved-it.” What a disservice to the Lord, since he’s worthy of full credit for everything he gives. Sometimes we even neglect crediting him for his most generous gift, the saving of our souls.

Jane was a powerful example to our family, and Nate’s and my thank you note sent through her realtor didn’t seem like enough. But God took care of that. He told the whole world how much he really loves “cheerful giver Jane.” (2 Corinthians 9:7)

“It is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends.” (2 Corinthians 10:18)