The first half of this letter, written by Nate to his firstborn son in 1996, was detailed two days ago. He poured out a description of his painful life journey, honestly admitting to an infatuation with money. When he succeeded at making it, he wanted more. When he lost it all, he grew bitter and angry:
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I was unhappy and bitter. Everything I had, the world easily reached – destroyed – burned like straw.
In the depths of my financial disaster, no financial rescue or restoration occurred. I was tormented. A family and household needed to be supported. Old habits of spending died slowly and painfully. I thought the tax change unjust, to impact real estate and not municipal bonds, insurance or other endeavors. Men I knew in those lines of work would have fared no better than I did if they’d been attacked. Why should they keep their money and I lose?
And now, years later, the senator who was the architect of tax reform admitted in the press he was wrong, that tax reform went too far. They gave benefits, then took them away retroactively. The world is deceitful and evil.
But the world cannot be our standard, our reliance. Hebrews 12:2: “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
In my travail, I came to a rededication to Christ – reading Scripture, praying, participating in an organized Bible study, focusing my thoughts and energies on “the race marked out for me.”
What does Jesus want me to devote my energies to? Hating those who wronged me? Or seeking His guidance and working for Him and my family? As Christian men, we know the answer. In our “struggle against sin,” we take encouragement that the Lord disciplines those He loves.
Now, when I practice law, I think of the heavenly reason why I do it. That is my “race”. Not my choice, but my “race”. There are missteps and down days, but the purpose is sure.
Paul struggled with sin as all Christian men do. (Romans 7:7-25). Christ rescues us from sin. Service to others is paramount (1 Corinthians 16:15-18). We live as children of light (Ephesians 4:17-32)
I share the details of my life with you so you can see the human difficulty of trying to live a Christ-centered life – we cannot do it alone. We must rely on Him every day. If we don’t, we all stray. We read His word and pray, or we lose to the world.
Love,
Papa
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Nate’s struggle is evident in his words. Thankfully, he recognized the removal of his “fortunes” as God’s discipline after he’d become too enamored with money. He also realized the Lord was disciplining him out of love.
I well remember the angst of those days of business failure and despair. Reading Nate’s letter, especially as he reveals his change of heart, brings encouragement to me today. It’s heartening to realize that through all the upheaval, Nate felt loved by God.
Maybe his words will lift another who is currently in the battle, wondering where the Lord’s rescue might be. Although God did rescue Nate (on this earth), it had nothing to do with restoring the money he’d lost but everything to do with changing his heart.
“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.” (Psalm 91:14)
