Life is precious.

As life’s best moments go, the arrival of a baby has to be number one. A brand new life, arriving on the earth with a behavioral clean slate and unending possibilities, is an encouragement to us all.

Today it was my privilege to get acquainted with Thomas Nathan and Evelyn Sarah, both only three weeks old. They’re so new I have to think twice before addressing them, since their names were unknown to us just a short time ago. They are both “wonderfully made,” as the Bible describes babies, and we’ve all been twice blessed being given twins when a single birth was expected.

I also had fun getting reacquainted with Nicholas today, 16 months old and still a baby himself. As with most one year olds, his greatest joy is mimicking the adults in his world. The words “Would you like to help?” are his dream come true. He helped me hang the wash out to dry, managing to painfully snap a clothespin on his finger but not letting it discourage him. And that’s what’s so special about toddlers like Nicholas. They refuse to give up and are champions at persevering in their efforts to learn.

Today I also marveled at my own son’s active involvement as a father and my daughter-in-law’s ability to manage three young children and a new home while still recuperating from a double, natural childbirth. Though exhausted, Katy and Hans remain enthusiastic about the task at hand and continue to count their children as supreme blessings from God.

Tonight, after the three little people had been bathed and put to bed, we sat with our mugs of tea and enjoyed quiet conversation in the living room. In talking of children, we grieved over the losses caused by abortion and the unnumbered couples who long to adopt, but can’t do so because there are no babies available. In the middle of our chat, we heard from little Evelyn upstairs. “Let me go,” said Hans, who ran up and quickly reappeared with his newborn daughter in his arms. “She just wants a little cuddle,” he said.

Soon she was fast asleep again and put back to bed. As we continued to talk, moving to the mysterious topic of when human life actually begins and what God’s involvement is, we heard from Nicholas. “Let me,” Katy said, and disappeared up the steps. When she returned to our little circle her report was, “He just needed a cuddle.”

As we were just beginning to talk of embryonic research, we heard from Thomas. “I’ll go,” Hans said, bounding back upstairs again. When he returned, he had his baby boy on his shoulder saying, “He wants a little cuddle with papa.”

And so goes the life of young parents with three children under two years old. It wore me out just watching, and I get to sleep through the night! But in the midst of it all, the message came through loud and clear: all life is precious, and once in a while everybody needs a cuddle.

“[Parents] were bringing even infants to [Jesus] that he might touch them. And when the disciples saw it, they rebuked them. But Jesus called them to him, saying, ‘Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God’.” (Luke 18:15-16)

Do we understand?

Travel isn’t what it used to be. There are more rules, for one thing, and learning them can be challenging. You’re allowed to take on board a little of some things but not a lot of anything. If you go against restrictions, you can toss most of what you brought into the giant trash can next to the security guard. I’ve seen that can filled with everything from scissors and shampoos to unopened water bottles. Was it necessary for them to take my nail clipper? I doubt a terrorist could launch a significant attack with one of those. My knitting needles, which could rightfully be considered weapons, passed through security without a hitch.

After white-knuckling a drive through wild winds and sideways rain from my house to Detroit, I flew on a Buddy Pass to Atlanta. Nelson’s friend Kevin, a seasoned mechanic with Delta, took me all the way to the plane door, making sure everything went smoothly. After listening to him describe the 800 items he checks on every plane, I felt quite safe climbing aboard.

My flight from Atlanta would take me the rest of the way to Manchester, England, where children and grandchildren awaited. I spent the afternoon enjoying the international terminal there with its multi-national food court and colorful crowds. In the midst of that swirl of activity sat a grand piano and a man in a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses playing jazz. He played without stopping for nearly three hours, contributing a great deal to the festive mood of hundreds of happy travelers.

The only negatives were the language barriers. While waiting in line at Panda Express, the three women ahead of me had trouble making their lunch selections understood, as well as paying their bill. At the currency exchange nearby, another verbal skirmish took place when an explanation of the exchange rate couldn’t be comprehended.

Boarding announcements were delivered in multiple languages, and each gate’s destination was posted as a foreign land. At my gate I enjoyed listening to parents instruct their children in another language, although I didn’t recognize it and couldn’t understand their words.

All of this reminded me of the biblical Tower of Babel. Back then, every person on the earth spoke the same language. We don’t know what that was, but how nice to be able to travel yet understand everything along the way. These unified citizens decided to build a tower reaching up to heaven, which displeased God. To abort the process, he visited their building site and in one fell swoop introduced multiple languages. When people no longer understood each other, the project fell apart.

How interesting to ponder that day. In the morning, the whole work crew spoke the same language, but by afternoon, confusion reigned. Yet God was merciful in his punishment. He could have given a different language to each person so no one person would have understood another. Mercifully he gave the same language to large groups of people, who then banded together and left the tower-construction scene to begin building new societies instead.

Today our globe is populated by a wide variety of people and languages, each person precious to God. And the best news is, because he was the one who created the different languages, he’s fluent in them all. When we talk to him, he understands all of us perfectly.

”That is why the city was called Babel, because that is where the Lord confused the people with different languages. In this way he scattered them all over the world.” (Genesis 11:9)

“Firsts” and Foremost

Before I became a widow, I often thought about women-friends who’d already started down that road. I’d heard about the struggle of coming to each holiday for the first time after a husband’s death and knew a widow surely was sad at Thanksgiving, Christmas and her spouse’s birthday. Other lesser holidays, I figured, weren’t too bad.

Now that I’m ticking off those “firsts” for myself, I realize how wrong I was. Every long marriage has specific ways of walking through each holiday, both the lesser and the greater ones. Granted, some are more important than others, but each one has special meaning for a husband and wife.

I’ve just passed Mother’s Day. As Linnea remembered her father through tears she said, “Papa would have brought you flowers, two dozen roses or something extravagant like that.” She also reminded me that every Mother’s Day celebration is really initiated by the husband, well before the children are old enough to understand. It’s for couples before it’s for children. Linnea helped to lift the gloom by sending a beautiful orchid plant, and Klaus also stepped into his father’s shoes by bringing a bright bouquet of summer flowers.

Today I woke up thinking, “Another first without Nate is behind me.” Although I held it together on Sunday, today has been more complicated. While packing for my trip to England tomorrow, the tears flowed. I couldn’t stop them. Although I pushed through laundry, errands, phone calls and emails, my heart ached and my two pocket tissues had to be replaced again and again.

Honestly, I think it was all about this first Mother’s Day without Nate, even after the fact. The hole he left in our family will never be filled. He loved all things holiday, buying gifts, bringing me flowers, writing thoughtful messages on cards and celebrating at dinner tables.

I’m six months into widowhood, about half way through my “firsts”: Thanksgiving, our anniversary, the Christmas Eve Swedish smorgasbord, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Day, Nelson’s birthday, Adam’s birthday, Katy’s birthday, a new grandson’s arrival, Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, the spring trip, the birth of twin grandbabies, Louisa’s birthday and Easter… 17 biggies are behind me.

Klaus’ birthday will be next, followed by the most poignant “first” of the entire year, Memorial Day. Annually our relation gathers at the family cemetery plot to reminisce about those who’ve gone before us and to be grateful for their lives. Last year Nate was with us, contributing historical information and enjoying the get-together. None of us ever dreamed by Memorial Day of this year, he’d be buried in that same place.

Once we get through that, Father’s Day will be another hard one, then Birgitta’s birthday, Linnea’s birthday, the 4th of July, Nate’s birthday, my birthday, Labor Day weekend, the September family vacation, Hans’ birthday and Lars’ birthday. There are 29 “firsts” to get through in this family year. Although 29 doesn’t eat up much of 365, it does deliver a slew of painful reminders that Nate is gone.

From this vantage point, I’m wondering what the “seconds” will be like, surely less heartbreaking than the “firsts”. My guess is there will be tears then, too, but they’ll be cried in private.

Thankfully, God comes with us into those secret places and looks deep into our hearts. He comforts us based on what he finds there and does his miraculous healing in those hidden depths.

“God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7b)