More Drugs…

Posted on November 15, 2022 by Margaret

Today I had a couple scans that yielded mixed results.

Basically they are mostly positive. There was one spot that grew, some new growth that wasn’t there last time around, but mostly others either didn’t grow or shrunk.

Dr. Mansfield wants to double the chemo medication dose and attempt to deal with the side effects. He thinks the cancer is changing and adapting to the drugs and we’ll get one more boast from the current stuff if we double the dose for now.

Meanwhile, he wants to appeal for this other drug cocktail that’s been approved for Melanoma but not for the type of lung cancer I have, but he says it will work just as good and the cancer doesn’t “know it” yet. Also, he thinks I’ll tolerate those drugs better.

The insurance company will reject his appeal a few times, but he thinks they’ll go for it after a round of ‘back-and-forth’ which he estimates will take a month or 2. He said he expects most of these genetic match drugs to “plateau” off after a while and loose their potency and that’s when you go with your plan B.

I’m glad he has a plan B.

Please pray I can stand whatever side effects come with the increased dose, which starts tomorrow morning. I have also had a fracture in a vertebrae which has caused me tremendous pain in the past month. At least now we know what’s been causing it, but either way, I have to take it easier with lifting or any physical pressure because other “breaks” can happen just as easy even though the healed bones are stronger. There is still a systemic weakness in my bones wherever the cancer has eaten into previously.

After the meeting, I was a little down thinking, “How long will this go on? Is this my new norm, being sick pretty much all the time for years and years. Can I handle that? How hard will this be on my family?”

It’s easy to let thoughts come in that are discouraging… that focus on the hard parts without giving the high points any ground.

I am making a point of focusing on and being thankful for the periods I do feel good and not get out ahead and too far into the future. And of course, you can’t forget about the God-Factor!

Thanks for your prayers and dedication to us during this difficult time. We are also moving tomorrow, so I hope to have the energy for that without doing too much.

The long Haul…

Posted on November 9, 2022 by Margaret

So I resumed the chemo drugs this morning as planned. They called yesterday and due to the fact that I just had Covid and have been having trouble draining my lungs of fluid, the team opted to wait until this morning.

l can’t tell a whole lot in the way of side effects so far, but here we go…

In other news, I have a blood work-up scheduled for 840am at the clinic tomorrow, a 925am meeting with one of my Oncology docs, and a 255pm Echocardiogram (heart) so they can get a clearer picture of what’s going on.

And what else is going on?

Well, everything has been really great on most fronts other than low oxygen levels and shortness of breath. I can’t breath so well, especially at night and when I asked about it, they answered with these tests and this meeting. Being out of breath at a resting position is disconcerting at a minimum. I have these panic attacks when I can’t breath.

Waking up in the middle of the night feeling like you’re drowning is no fun at all. I am grateful I have an oxygen machine at the house, thanks to my cousin Luke who just happened to have one lying around. So overall, I’m blessed. Chemo drugs are working. I can manage pain and side effects fairly well, and life with the family is going great.

However, I want things to move faster than they are, but here I am taking steps back into the land of breathing machines and tests like we did back in May.

But I guess that’s what people mean when they say they are fighting cancer for years.

You wonder, “How long will this go on, Lord?”

It gives new meaning to the Psalms that go on and on like that.

My friend told me it’s a mind game, which is true. Most battles are won and lost in the battlefield of the mind. Attitude is everything and even effects the outcome much of the time.

But as Ben Franklin said, “Well done is better than well said.”

But who can really pull it off?

Who can stay positive and overcome when it’s lonely at night?

None of the people who are around me are sick like I am, so it does feel lonely.

I hope I can overcome. I want to stay positive.

I try to use the “tools” I have been given to get through it.

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” ~ Serenity Prayer

Til Tuesday…

Posted on November 4, 2022 by Margaret

Just an update health-wise: My left lung catheter clogged again and the small amount of fluid was fairly bloody, so we scheduled another meeting with Pulmonology. They did the same thing again, injected the drug, waited the hour, and sucked fluid out. The good thing about that is they use an ultrasound machine so you can see how much is really hiding in there.

Turns out there was 650ml of fluid on the right side that had accumulated since they removed that catheter a couple months back. To get it out, they go in your back with a needle and suck it out directly. I felt like a new man walking out of there with both lungs empty and clear.

Meanwhile, the side effects from the chemo drugs had gotten so bad, I had to take a short break. It’s a catch 22. They found what is shrinking the cancer down and if it goes like it has been, I could be in very good shape in a few months!

But starting last Wednesday, I have had steady 103 degree fevers round the clock and have been taking Tylenol to get relief, but that stopped working. I’ve a spent a few too many nights shivering under an electric blanket occasionally vomiting into a bowl to keep this going. I’m a big tough guy and all, but sometimes this thing really pushes me to my limits. I’m literally praying God will have mercy and watching the clock as the minutes drag by like hours. I’ve never had this before. I’ve been told on more than one occasion that these are heavy duty drugs and these side effects can be normal. Every time it get’s too gnarly, we go to the Emergency Department to rule out infections like the one that almost killed me in July. But then it’s back at it.

No chemo drugs and there will be no Nelson. If I keep taking the drugs, I have a fighting chance. Of course the choice is easy. It’s just walking it out that’s tough.

I have so much to live for.

So the answer? Just take a short pause once in a while like I am from now until Tuesday. It’s unbelievable how fast everything gets brighter and how fast. I feel like I’ve got a get out of jail free card, but of course those feelings support an illusion.

Feelings say, “Let’s keep doing this please! I am not sick anymore.” But of course there is a sleeping giant that would wake up and take me back to where we were in May with cancer growing in my lungs, liver, and spreading out through the bones and other organs.

I remember when I lifted my arm up and broke a rib in my back because the bones was eaten up so bad. That’s what happens. This stuff is no joke and I’m beyond grateful for the opportunity to be here doing what we’re doing. I still live for the day and when it’s a non-chemo day, I’m so happy and love to work on our recently acquired house with Annso.