As Nelson’s mom, partnered with Nelson’s wife Ann Sophie, it’s been our privilege to share Nelson’s personal thoughts with you through these many weeks, detailing his journey from cancer discovery to the end of his earthly life. He was a guy who loved to have conversations about the mysteries and challenges of life, searching for the answers in his Bible. And the older he got, the more he wanted these conversations to center on Jesus Christ.

When he was told he had a deadly lung cancer, it was natural for him to hold on tight to whatever Scripture told him. As the cancer grew stronger, his faith grew stronger still. He had two close calls with death during those eight months when he’d been frightened, bringing him to ask tough faith-questions. But when the real thing came, all fear was gone, and he never wavered.

Ann Sophie and I were both with him when he took his last shallow breath and moved from a hospital bed to the place Jesus had prepared for him in Paradise. Through our tears we were comforted knowing his months of struggling to breathe had ended.

During his funeral we listened to a song called “Finally Home” by Don Wyrtzen. The lyrics spoke perfectly to Nelson’s experience:

• When engulfed by the terror of tempestuous seas,
• Unknown waves before you roll.
• At the end of doubt and peril is eternity,
• Though fear and conflict seize your soul.
•                      
• When surrounded by the blackness of the darkest night,
• Oh how lonely death can be.
• At the end of this long tunnel is a shining light,
• For death is swallowed up in victory. 

• Just think of stepping on shore and finding it heaven,
• Of touching a hand and finding it God’s,
• Of breathing new air and finding it celestial,
• Of waking up in glory and finding it home.

                         ~~~~~~~~~~

It was hard not to cry when hearing the phrase, “…breathing new air and finding it celestial.” This miraculous air is now what Nelson is breathing. The cancer has lost its power to clog his lungs, and he can now take deep gulps of this heavenly air. Oh how thrilled he must be!

Though it has sometimes been emotionally difficult to post these journal entries, we hope they’ve encouraged you (as they have us) to hold on tight to your faith in Christ when tough times come, no matter how severe….because He will never let you go.

“The Lord will keep your life….from this time forward and forevermore.” (Psalm 121:7,8)

Nelson’s bone pain is increasing as other bones fracture, and four days from now, he will undergo surgery to put a “pin” in his left leg from hip-to-knee.

When the surgeon was finished, he came out and said that some of the bones were “paper thin.” But Nelson was on his feet again, as soon after surgery as the doctor would allow. He promised to use a cane—if the doctor would just let him go home….which he did.

Nelson had 10 days with his family until another breathing crisis and panic attack prompted a 911 call and an ambulance ride back to the hospital.

During those days, from December 13 until his death on December 25, he wrote nothing more. The entry below was his last.

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December 12, 2022

Luke 17:11-19

“Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance and called out in a loud voice, ‘Jesus, Master, have pity on us!’ When he saw them, he said, ‘Go, show yourselves to the priests.’ And as they went, they were cleansed. One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan. Jesus asked, ‘Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?’ Then he said to him, ‘Rise and go; your faith has made you well.’ ”

It’s 5:45 am

Just took the Chemo meds, and Annso came out to say hello and said she’s going to try and put the baby back down again. Apparently he slept from 10:45 pm all the way until now. Pretty good for him.

I’ve been struggling with anxiety during the day and trouble breathing. The reason I have the passage at the top is because I was thinking about being healed and giving thanks, and those are verses that contain both.

I pray, Lord, that when you heal me, I am faithful to come back and thank you.

What about the others? Why weren’t they coming back? Maybe they were busy, distracted, any number of other things. And why was it a Samaritan? Luke records this.

Why was it the one who was different, the one to come back. Well, maybe it was because he didn’t need to go to the temple like the Jews would have, to be considered “clean”. Maybe it was because they were told to go there and they hadn’t arrived yet.

Who knows….

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(I’ll conclude tomorrow.)                                            

“The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life.” (Job 33:4)

Nelson’s energy is waning, so these two entries are short. It’s becoming harder and harder for him to concentrate, and there are more and more breathing issues.

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December 9, 2022

At our little kitchen table at our new house, pre-dawn. It’s 7:15 am and no sign of the sun yet. Almost the shortest day of the year. I think the winter solstice is December 20. Anyway, not too much sunlight this time of year up north.

Reading Psalm 90 and 91. They say 90 was written by Moses. He’s got more of a grim outlook, talking about men finishing their years with a sigh and having 70 or 80 years, if we have the strength.

December 11, 2022

Who needs to write a journal, really. So many people with blogs. Writing can be therapeutic. Annso is with Ralph and Astrid, giving them a little time with the baby boy.

I’m back at our place trying to outrun a panic attack of some sort. Took a Lorazepam to give me a lift, but [now] I heard her come through the door, which eases my insanity….

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“When I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light unto me.” (Micah 7:8b)