Rather than write a blog about the 3rd anniversary of Nate’s death (Nov. 3), I’ve decided to post the email I sent to my children yesterday.

Hi, Everyone…

As the 3rd anniversary of Papa’s death arrives again, I’m wondering how you all are doing and would love to hear from you. I know some of you are deeply affected by this date and others may not have even realized what day it was. And that shows how differently we’ve all dealt with (and continue to deal with) our grief. There is no right or wrong way, no assigned finish date.

Each night when I go to sleep I wonder if maybe I might dream about Papa and have a “visit” with him. But there have been only 3 occasions in 3 years when that’s happened, and dream-visits always have to end with the harsh realization that he’s far, far away. He’s completely inaccessible to me, to all of us, and sometimes that still hurts badly.

His absence has increased my longing for heaven and our reunion there. I remember Grandpa Johnson once saying, at the funeral of another good friend of his, “Well, my friends are pretty much gone now.” He outlived all of them, dying at 92, and was well aware that life as he knew it was “narrowing.” More and more of the people he loved had already taken up residence in heaven, and he knew he would go soon, too. But being sure of his salvation, he had a calm, peaceful acceptance of God’s choice of timing.

That timing is sort of mysterious, and often we’ve got lots of questions that never get answers, especially about disease and dying. We get impatient to know the “why’s” but of course God doesn’t owe us any answers. My morning devotional book (by Spurgeon) has a good entry for November 3. Part of it, which I read each year, says: “The Lord will keep his appointments. He never is before his time; he never is behind.” Our instructions are to cooperate with God’s timing on every level, which sometimes includes the deaths of those we love. I don’t know why Papa had to die when he did, but I do know he died on the exact day God had planned for it to happen, for reasons he hasn’t shared with us.

As for me, I’m following the instructions of Isaiah 26:3, “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is fixed on Thee.”  This verse is hanging on our sunroom wall as a good reminder of how to get through stuff. It’s a plaster plaque that came from Grandpa and Grandma’s house.

God has blessed the Nyman family exponentially, both before and after Papa’s death, and according to Scripture, his good gifts will continue. There’s no greater blessing than new life (which includes new life in Christ), and just think of it: 5 new family members born to us in these last 3 years. God has absolutely showered us with goodness!

(BTW, I believe Papa is in on all of it, with a perspective that’s far superior to ours.)

So today we’re remembering, and we all miss him a lot. I have to say I love him more now than I ever did.

Lotsa love to all of you, too!
Mom/Marni/Grandma Midgee/MeeMee

“My soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from Him. I will not be shaken.” (Psalm 62:5-6)