Nate and I were privileged to have 7 children. These 4 sons and 3 daughters are second only to God in the ranking of blessings in our lives. We also lost one child to miscarriage at 11 weeks, but I think often of this 8th child, wondering who he or she was.
I remember the day we announced to our then-six children that someone new was joining our family.
I wrote clues and taped them to the underside of each dinner plate in a mini-treasure hunt. After we’d eaten, they read them, oldest to youngest, ending with the news of baby-treasure.
I believe this tiny baby, less than 2” long at the time of his or her death, was already as fully a person as our other 7. The hair and eye color had been established, along with his or her personality and temperament. The DNA was complete, and by God’s breath, an eternal soul had, I believe, been placed within him or her.
Some people would find those statements ludicrous, but knowing God as I do and believing his Word to be an accurate representation of who he is, I know they’re true. One day I’ll receive answers to my questions about #8 and will, beyond that, get to have a vibrant relationship with him or her. It’s a lovely, satisfying thought.
I’ve always been impressed with how different each of our children is from the others, despite being members of the same family. They’re all Nymans, sharing a certain family resemblance, but as in every family, no two are alike, a credit to the Lord’s bottomless creativity. As each one came along, my question for God was always, “Who else might be coming?”
Whoever he wanted to send, we wanted to meet. And get to know.
Maybe that’s why my thoughts of #8 are sometimes frustrating. I know virtually nothing about this person other than that he or she was a Nyman due to be born in late October, 1989. I’ve missed him or her for 23 years. But God’s choice was that we not parent this one, and I trust him enough to know his reasons were good ones.
Besides, he hasn’t completely eliminated my relationship with #8, only postponed it for a while. For Nate that postponement has ended, and sometimes I picture Jesus introducing the two of them. Although God has told us our heavenly relationships won’t be parent-child or husband-wife, he has also let us know we’ll share a depth of relationship with one another that will be more meaningful than anything earthly life has to offer.
And now, as the next generation is coming forth, I’m thrilled to see God’s continuing handiwork as he creates one unique individual after another, each one a wonder.
“You, our Lord and God… created all things, and by your will they existed and were created.” (Revelation 4:11)
I understand… And can hardly wait to meet my Maggie Lynn! She was born Sept. 11, 2008 alongside her brother, but we had known she would not live since June 26, 2008. Just yesterday I thought again of how, as heart-breaking as it was, and though I still grieve her now, I am so glad God chose to give her to us for a little while. Only our loving father could turn the loss of a baby into one of life’s richest blessings! He is so good… Thank you for sharing your heart about your little Nyman.
Our first grandchild was due in January of 2007. But God, in His wisdom, chose to take this precious one home during the first trimester of my daughter-in-law’s pregnancy. We all grieved, but I was comforted by knowing that my folks, who were already in heaven, were there to greet our little one.
Hi Margaret,
I had two miscarriages before Sarah was born. She is an earthly miracle, and I am convinced an eternal miracle awaits us when we all meet the rest of the family. Earthly sorrow will quickly be displaced and swallowed up by that greeting. I agree with you that we will not have in heaven those same kind of familial relationships.
I remember reading in Heaven Is For Real that the little boy who went to heaven and came back told his parents that he had met his sister- his parents were astounded as they never told him about their miscarriage of this child.
When David grieved the loss of the baby conceived with Bathsheba, he got up from his sorrow and said “I will go to him, but he will not return to me.”
Love,
Terry
Isn’t it just the most fascinating curiosity of all things to think on? My mother lost a baby boy when I was only 3 yrs old, and one in between my brother and I and sister and brother and one or two before that……and I cannot even begin to fathom how she must have felt…all those years she lived – to age 77 – passin g on to glory on her 77th birthday…..I truly believe she has been enjoying all those babies she didn’t get to…on earth!
God is so merciful and gracious….it’s hard for us to wrap our minds around the glorious life we will all share in eternity….even here on earth…we KNOW each other – by the SPIRIT….so shall we there…..as HIS children. PRAISE THE LORD!!
I have been so comforted by your book and your latest blog post was definitely right up my alley. I also lost two babies to miscarriage. One of the things I told my husband right before he died was that I was just a little bit jealous of the fact that he would get to see Jesus, my daddy, and our two babies before I would.
Robbie
good morning,
Kelly, my daughter-in-law and friend of your niece Julia, told me about your site. Our daughter Heather died June 28, 1978, at the age of 10 weeks, from SIDS. After much anger, crying and self-pity, I was able to thank my Lord and God for having shared Heather with us for 10 weeks. Now, I see her daily by His side. I also thank my Lord and God for giving me faith, and pray for those who lack faith. And, Lin and I will celebrate our 46th wedding anniversary this May with our beautiful and loving family. take care