Some of us have had our dreams come true, and many have had dreams that haven’t. A few of those unrealized dreams have been secrets, hopes we quietly nurtured without telling anyone. When it became clear those dreams had died, we suffered in silence, since no one knew.

Other dashed dreams are shared with others because they can’t be hidden: a pink slip at work, an abandoned home, a soldier without a limb, a divorced couple. Yet nothing discourages us from dreaming.

Sometimes it’s hard to tell if our dreams are coming or going. Maybe they’re doing both. As Pastor Colin Smith says, “The home where you live is yours for a time. The work that you do is yours for a time. The people you love are yours for a time. One day, your home will be lived in by others. One day, your work will be continued by others. One day, your money will belong to others.”

Even in our dreaming we need to remember that old adage, “The only constant is change.” Nurturing dreams is probably a good thing, though, as long as we keep them in a proper perspective. Do we absolutely have to have a dream fulfilled before we can be happy? Or do we hold it lightly and tell the Lord, “It’s really up to you.” And then, after a dream comes true but eventually goes through a change, do we erupt in anger?

Some of us have dreamed of future scenarios that, had we been given them, might have been our undoing. Looking backwards, we see that and are thankful God prevented them from coming true.

So how are we to dream with wisdom? I think the only sure-fire way is to do it through questions. Questions addressed to God:

“My heart desires such-and-such, Lord, but is this something you want for me?” Or, “All I can think about is x-y-z, but if you want me to fill my mind with something other than that, would you please let me know what it is?” Or, “I’ve earmarked my bank account for this-or-that, but did you have a different idea for that money?”

I believe God is honored when we ask him questions, as long as we open our “ears to hear” his responses and then heed them. I also believe he will definitely respond, which is where dreaming-wisdom comes in. If one of our dreams is realized because God is behind it, we can be sure it’ll be every bit as satisfying as we’d hoped. But if it’s something we want that he doesn’t think is good for us, we can be sure the uphill battle we fight to make it happen won’t deliver the pleasure-pay-off we thought it would.

“God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.” (Ephesians 3:20, The Message)