American families love to travel. Climbing in the car and heading for the nearest highway is the kind of adventure old and young can enjoy together. My two “little girls” and I have spent the day readying for a journey from Chicago to northern Florida that will begin tomorrow morning. Our family babies are 19 and 21, so these babies will probably do most of the driving.
I’ve been looking forward to our road trip for many reasons, mostly because of what is waiting at the other end: brand new Micah Nathan, not yet one week old, and big sissy Skylar. But I’ve also been eager to spend time with Louisa and Birgitta. It’s been three months since they lost their father to cancer, and I want to come current with what they’re thinking and how they’re coping.
Road trips are perfect for catching up with each other, whether it’s clocking miles on the open highway or sitting across from one another at a McDonald’s table. Once we’ve separated ourselves from all things home and work, everyday burdens lift, and a fresh freedom takes its place.
Our family, like many others, has taken unnumbered road trips together. Nate usually orchestrated these, although I did the packing. He chose the route and determined when we’d make our pit stops. Some fathers push for the goal with a determination that blasts through bathroom requests and pleadings for food. Not Nate. He was a champion stopper, every hour if he had his way.
The reason was that he was such a drinker. Coffee, water, milk shakes, diet Cokes, it didn’t matter. If we stopped for gas, he’d always pick up a coffee the size of a waste basket. That dictated our next stop would be in about an hour to use the facilities, after which he’d come back to the car with another big drink, or maybe two.
I did my best to nag about this, wanting to tick off more miles in less time, but after years of hoping he’d see things my way and realizing he never would, I gave up. Once I went with the flow, I enjoyed the perks that accompanied frequent stops. As he’d go inside for his drink(s) he’d ask, “Anyone want anything? Ice cream? Pretzels? Fishy crackers?” Stopping wasn’t all bad.
As the girls and I have been planning this journey, I’ve missed Nate’s involvement. He’d make sure the car’s oil change was up to date, check the tires for bald spots, do the loading and drive all the miles. I especially appreciated his stamina for time behind the wheel if we were “driving through.” While I had to slap myself or pinch cheeks to stay awake on my night-time shift, he never seemed to get sleepy. He even stayed awake during my shift when he could have been dozing, chatting with me in an effort to be sure I was still awake.
This trip will be different, because Nate isn’t with us. He won’t be participating in the festivities in Florida as we hold Micah for the first time and won’t be on hand for 18 month old Skylar to renew a relationship from last fall. He won’t appear in any of the pictures and won’t be ordering the pizza or the Chinese food. He won’t be gassing up the car, making “newspaper runs” or discussing current events. We’ll all miss him.
Sometimes it feels wrong to be making new memories without Nate. Yet not to do so is to sit in a room and refuse to live life. We have to go. And tomorrow morning we will.
“Behold, I am going to send an angel before you to guard you along the way and to bring you into the place which I have prepared.” (Exodus 23:20)
Have a safe trip and a fun one too! I’ll bet Jack is excited too, huh? 😉
Yes, Margaret, sometime it really does feel wrong to make new memories without our mates. Today, I deliver the Valentines, some of the younger Grandkids left for Jim, at our party last night. After church, I’ll stop by his grave, and place them in his floral urn. Life goes on, and the Lord is with us. Thinking of you on this Valentine’s Day.
Counting down!!!
Praying for safe travels, angels clearing the roads and weather ahead of you.
Enjoy making some new memories while talking about the old ones. Safe travels.
May the Lord give you safety, great conversations,and joy in deep relationships.
Hi Margaret,
By now you are well on your way into your road trip.
It is a courageous act of faith to step out and make new memories without Nate- it is your insulation against Satan’s fiery darts of discouragement and doubt and despair. It says you believe God has good things in store for you, and contrary to feeling like you are betraying Nate by pressing forward, you honor him by demonstrating again he chose a woman of great worth, pleasing to God.
In 2 Samuel 12, when David was told the child conceived with Bathsheba was dead, he arose from fasting and weeping, washed, anointed himself, and changed his clothes. Then he went and comforted Bathsheba. That must have been a difficult choice for him to press forward and step outside of his grief. It is exactly what you are doing. Still in deep mourning, yes, as you should be, yet there is no hint of refusing His hand of grace and strength, and always on your own mind is how others are also faring as you seek to comfort and instruct. Well done, Margaret.
“Lord, for sure at times Margaret’s flesh and heart may fail, but You are the strength of her heart and her portion. She has made Your nearness her good and her refuge, and she has been faithful to tell of all Your works on her behalf. Redeem her life from the pit of discouragement and despair, crown her with lovingkindness and compassion, satisfy her years with good things, and renew her like the eagle. Your lovingkindness is from everlasting to everlasting, and Your righteousness to children’s children. Even in this car trip with her girls, and then meeting up with her other daughter and grandson, bring conversation that will pass Your lovingkindness and righteousness onto the next generation. Amen.” Psalm 73, 103
Journey mercies,
Terry
Have a wonderful trip. We look forward to enjoying it with you through your blog! God bless as you travel and as you play with your babies…the old ones and the new ones! Love you all
Have a grand trip with those beautiful daughters of yours. They will be such a comfort to you and even though there will be times of laughter and tears God will bless every minute! And do stop to sleep!!
What fun to see and hold that new life soft and warm and smelling so sweet. Marni, Nate will be there in spirit–I can just picture him watching from above, itching to hold little Micah too! Have fun playing with Skylar–18 months is such a great age. He is blessed to have you as his grand mother!
I also think the warm weather will be a welcome change after all that snow you have had!
Give Linnea a hug from me!
Blessings and prayers for you dear sister-in-Christ.
God speed as you and your ‘babies’ go to see Linnea and Adam’s babies. May the celebration be amazing.
Good post Mom. Papa wasn’t boring, that’s for sure! He operated in a freedom all his own. I love road trips and I’m sure it’s because we had so many great ones growing up. Hope this time with everyone is wonderful.