Once in a while each of us faces a task with apprehension. For me, it was the webinar I was asked to participate in on October 9. (Growing Pains)

Having no reference point for this newfangled communication tool, I was nervous about how that day would go and wasn’t sure how to prepare. The plan was for 3 of us to have a one hour discussion about grief: Tim, the moderator, Dave, who’d lost his daughter in an accident, and me, having lost my husband. We’d also be answering questions that came in live, online.

I was reluctant to say yes but sensed God wanted me to, so I did.

A few days beforehand, our moderator set up a video conference call on Google+: Tim, Dave, Dennis (the control room guy), and me. Getting set up for this cyber-meeting was a challenge I couldn’t meet. Despite help from webinar techs over the phone, I failed at my end, the only participant not visually present.

Instead I put them on speaker-phone, and Tim did the same, allowing me to be present…. sort-of. We spent an hour getting acquainted, troubleshooting, and following Tim’s Power Point outline as best we could from different locations. When we finished, Tim gave us instructions on clothing that would please the cameras: “no black, no white, no red, no stripes, no checks, no colors lighter than your skin tone.”

I’d already spent the better part of 3 days shopping and had bought several outfits, planning to return the ones I didn’t wear. One ensemble was black, another white, another red, and the last checked, all on the no-no list. In the end, they approved a blue silk vest and white shirt. I appreciated their cheerful tolerance of my clothing violation.

Now that the webinar is history, I look back and see how focused I was on doing well for all the wrong reasons. Worrying about my wardrobe or clearing my throat during filming or spilling my water at the table had loomed larger than the over-arching purpose of the project, which was to encourage people journeying through grief.

Such self-focus could have sabotaged my part, and I’m thankful for God using multiple prayer times that day to tug me back to center when I was leaning sideways. After all, the webinar opportunity came from my book, which came from my blog, which came from God. All three belong to him, and if they accomplish anything good at all, it’s only because he’s behind it.

(webinar, audio only)

To think the failure or success of that webinar depended in any way on my effort was to own something that never belonged to me. And there’s a beautiful flip side to knowing all the results belong to God:

Whatever he does prospers.

“If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ.” (1 Peter 4:11)