Emerald is slowly learning to feed herself, and it’s not a pretty picture. One favorite menu is peanut butter on rice cakes with a banana chaser, a combo that evolves into a goo she then uses to finger-paint a nearby window.

It’s interesting that after she’s been eating for a while, suddenly she’ll hold out her hand and make the sound of distress: “Ooo, ooo, ooo!” which translates, “Oh no! I’m messy! Wipe me off!” How she can be elbow-deep in sticky PB and slimy banana for 20 minutes before noticing is a mystery.

Learning something new can be sticky/slimy/gooey for all of us. For sure it’s messy as we struggle to gain expertise in an area we know nothing about. Tradition says practice makes perfect, but equally true is that practice gets messy.

For example, let’s take Nelson Mandela. After his death last Thursday, the general public heard a running narrative of his many accomplishments, but it was two personal statements he made himself that impressed me most.

The first dealt with the men who sentenced him to a life in prison (which lasted 27 years). Mandela said he had forgiven them completely, an impressive achievement in my book.

The second was spoken in reference to his parenting. He said that being the president of a country was a good thing, but that being a father was far more important. Only a president could say such a thing with authority.

Both of these things, forgiveness and fathering (or mothering), take oodles of practice before we get them right. In the process of learning how, we might make some impressive messes and much like Emerald, not even realize it until we’re up to our elbows.

In Mandela’s case, he never regretted forgiving his accusers, insisting there was no benefit to revenge. Somehow he learned that difficult lesson through the pain of imprisonment. He did, however, have regrets about the fathering of his 6 children, much of it done “through a glass” in the prison visiting room.

Later he pondered aloud whether it was right or wrong to forfeit time with his own family (staying in prison longer than was required) in a commitment to help the families of others. It was a sticky issue indeed.

What’s true for all of us is that life’s most important ventures usually include a steep learning curve. Thankfully God is ready with valuable tutoring for the asking, and Scripture promises he’ll instruct us. This doesn’t mean he’ll show us how to crochet an afghan or change a tire, but he’ll definitely instruct us in all things godly, such as how to forgive, or how to parent.

And if we don’t let messy failures get the best of us, we’ll make steady progress…. just like Emerald will one day know how to eat without needing a full bath afterwards.

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.” (Psalm 32:8-9)