Tonight this blog post is taking the first step on a long and possibly difficult journey. The day after Valentines Day, we as an extended family learned that my sister Mary had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. This discovery was like a sledge hammer to the chest, especially since Nate died of that very thing 4 years ago.
But before I share the details of these last pain-filled days, I’d like to begin on a positive note. So I’m posting a blog about Mary written in happier times, 3 years ago. Then tomorrow, we’ll hear from Mary herself, about her new diagnosis.
My sister Mary and I were born 20 months apart. She’s older… and much wiser. Mary’s been my leader and defender since I was born, and I don’t deserve her.For example, she’s given her last two Fridays to me as a painting partner at the cottage, priming and then semi-glossing the woodwork around all my new windows. In the process she also accomplished the thankless job of painting our “Harry Potter Closet,” the hard-to-reach cubbyhole under the stairs. But painting the underside of steps while lying on her stomach and twisting her neck upward was no problem for Mary. “I’d love to do it,” she said.
And that’s her, always saying, “I’d love to do it.”
Years ago one of my friends gave me a coffee mug that says, “No, I can’t bring 4 dozen cookies. Next question?” I love my mug and quickly related to its sentiment. Mary, however, probably wouldn’t be able to drink from it. She’d rather bake the cookies.
Mom once told me, “Next to your father, Mary is the most Christ-like person I know.” She was right. Mary’s always thinking one step ahead of the rest of us. For instance, she keeps my calendar commitments in her head along with her own, hoping she can help. She’ll say, “Do you have a ride to the airport on the 5th? If not, I’ll take you.” I’m thinking, “Where am I going on the 5th?” and she’s already arranging transportation. But that’s Mary, the biblical poster child for putting the interests of another ahead of her own.
As little girls we were polar opposites. She was quiet; I was boisterous. She was careful; I was sloppy. She obeyed the rules; I tested them. Yet somehow our relationship grew into a strong friendship that’s only gotten stronger with the decades. I’m continually learning from her sterling example and will never catch up.
When Nate had his cancer, she and I often left the house briefly to have prayer times in her car. When I held back tears at the cottage to spare children and grandchildren, beach walks with Mary were my safe times to open the flood gates. When Nate died, Mary was there, as she had been for days leading up to that. And in the 15 months since I’ve become a widow, she’s driven from Chicago to Michigan every Thursday to spend several days cheering and fortifying her grieving sister.
Best of all, though, is our relationship as sisters-in-the-Lord. Mary knows her Bible (because she reads it through each year), and I often ask, “Where is that one verse about…?” She knows. As a Bible study leader she studies Scripture intently and has, in the process, become more and more like its Author. As Mom said, Christ-like.
Today after cleaning her paint brush and pulling on her boots she said, “What are you planning to blog about tonight?”
I said, “You.”
“Oh no. You shouldn’t.”
But of course, I knew she’d say that.
“She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.” (Luke 10:39)
My very thoughts! As I’ve been thinking and praying for Mary these past few days..I reiterate in my mind that’s she is ,without a doubt,the most “Christ-like” person I know! Always, always ,always putting others first and with a smile! I know she will fight this disease to every bit of God’s glory! I remember her asking me once to fill out an evaluation to help her determine her spiritual gifts.I ended up checking every box! . She has them ALL! Love you much, Mary!
Oh Margaret, I am so sorry to hear this news about Mary. Words fail me to express my concern and empathy for you, as well as for her and her family. Having been down that road with Ted, I can understand the many overwhelming and possibly confusing decisions that might need to be made. And it’s mind boggling that you are again faced with an upcoming battle with this terrible disease. I will be praying for wisdom, peace, and strength for all of you. You will be a source of great encouragement to her, just as she has been to you. I know you will “keep your eyes always on the Lord. With him at your right hand, you will not be shaken.” Ps. 16:8
I’m smiling thought my tears, Margaret, for the Mary moments you’ve described are so very…Mary. You both have my constant prayer and any other support I can offer. With love, faith and prayer, Judy.
Oh Margaret, I am so saddened to hear this. Words fail me but will be praying, thankful that the Holy Spirit translates our groanings.
this news has hit me hard. She is one of those people you thank the Lord you have the privilege of knowing. As a leader of the nursery committee, what an example. She always took the most difficult job.
Yes, I am shocked by the news, but I think Mary is one of the few who will handle it better than most of us. It still isn’t easy, but I can imagine her comforting others in this trial.
We don’t know the results yet, but we know God is the great healer – in His own way! Like many others, I will pray for healing. ((HUGS)) to you & thank you for sharing this with us.
I could cut and paste what Lana said ^ but I’ll just say the obvious…I love you, Margaret, Mary and families and will pray earnestly for all of you. I’m glad God doesn’t mind tears with our prayers! Thank you for being willing to allow us to be part of the journey/battle through the blog. xxoo
Oh, no!! Oh, no!!!! Oh, Father, thank you that you will be very near to these people that I love as they walk this hard road. I agree with all the sentiments above. They’ve spoken so much more eloquently than I could. I will be in constant prayer for you all and will be waiting anxiously to see updates. I love you!!
How saddened and overwhelmed I was to hear this news of this wicked disease. Ray died of the same Ca. God’s peace surrounded him and me too. I will be praying for dear Mary and the family. Someone has said “the worse the agony, the brighter is heaven” Nancy
As I sat down to read your blog tonight I was totally caught by surprise by the news about your sister Mary. God, however, was not surprised at all. I will be praying for the family in the days ahead and I know that you will be her biggest cheerleader and supporter as you share her cancer journey with her now.
Sending my love from the other side of the state.
Judy