This morning I had a meltdown, a 20 minute cry over my sister Mary and her cancer. As the days pass and additional medical recommendations are made for her treatment, all of us are increasing in hope for a brighter future than we first thought. Time after time I have to remind myself this isn’t a repeat of my husband’s rapid-fire cancer, and we are NOT approaching Mary’s final days.
This morning, however, I lost sight of that for a few minutes. But it wasn’t just that.
Mary and Bervin’s son Luke has been an extraordinary asset to his parents since her diagnosis on February 15. As a highly successful consultant to hospitals around the country, Luke has absorbed a wealth of medical information, not just about specific doctors and health care institutions but about patient care, therapeutic drug use, and diagnostic testing.
Since the diagnosis, Luke has been Mary’s medical champion and full time troubleshooter. Although I know only a fraction of what he knows, he and I jive perfectly on one thing: Job-One is to protect Mary from all harm.
For example, we’ve known from the very first day that too many phone calls, texts, and visits would overwhelm and exhaust her. So Luke and I talked about that and have steadily worked to shield her from an overdose of social life ever since.
Yesterday, for instance, a group of ladies very dear to Mary emailed me with the hope they could spend time with her today. I texted Mary for her opinion, but when I didn’t hear back, I made the decision to handle it myself. I told them a visit would be too much for her and that they shouldn’t do it. I wrote, “How about notes or flowers instead?”
Eventually Mary and I talked about their request to visit, and since these women were from out of town, she opted to let them come. This morning, as I mentally constructed an apologetic email to the ladies, it hit me that as passionately as I want to protect my sister from harm, I can’t really do it. And it’s not because of phone calls, texts, and visits.
Mary has cancer! And I can’t do anything to defend her from this enemy’s ongoing assault. That was the real reason for my morning meltdown.
As I talked to God about it through this day, he gradually convinced me that it doesn’t really matter if I can’t protect my sister. He told me, in no uncertain terms, that that’s his job. “I’ve got this,” he said.
And so, although cancer does have the powerful ability to cause meltdowns, God has the greater ability to protect Mary in whatever way he chooses.
“This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him. Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday. If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter, no evil will conquer you.” (Psalm 91:2,6,9-10)
Mary’s prayer requests:
- For courage and confidence in the Lord
- For God’s will to be done
- Continued prayer for her kids
Thanks!
Love you and Mary both very much! Sending hugs and prayers for your whole family . . . always!!!
It’s hard to feel so powerless. I think God allows that so we remember that He’s known about this before the foundation of the world when He chose Mary in the first place.
Continuing to pray for Mary and all those who love her. Thank you for the specific requests at the bottom of your blogs.
Much love,
Terry
To love one so much that we would ‘die’ for them and ‘protect them’ is a gift few people know. Your friendship as sisters is a gift few people know. Your previous walk with cancer few people know. Your desire to walk with The Lord not enough people know. With your blog you are given a platform to show those you teach that none of us ever get all of our acts together, that we must run back to The Lord who is our only source of comfort and strength. This I continually learn is often a daily or hourly occurrence. May you be blessed often as you encourage Mary and her family. May you be blessed and carried as you grieve again your loss of Nate. May you find sweet respite in your writing. May God be given glory and honor in this journey. I am praying for you all.
One thing I KNOW; Jesus came to heal! It is God’s will that we walk in His Divine Health. the enemy satan, comes to steal, destroy, and kill. Cancer is a theif, destroyer, and kills, and it’s my Personal belief – it is important to continually rebuke it’s presence (in spite of the pain), AUDIBLY command it to leave the body and never return, and body tissue to be made whole, well and in perfect health. Whe we pray and believe to receive – speak it – the ‘spoken word’ brings action. This is a witness to the world, I’m hearing it more and more often. Like the word ‘widow’ – ‘cancer’ creats instant fear…..not faith….but FAITH is what we live by, walk in, and those who love the Lord and believe, will receive!
Keep on keeping on!