This little girl adores her Auntie Mary, who was at the hospital the day she was born. One of the first words Emerald learned to say was “bye.” It came out with a southern accent (“bah”) and 4 months later, it still does. She accompanies every farewell with a swivel-wrist wave (see photo) and says bah for all manner of partings. Like when a piece of paper gets thrown into the trash, or when the refrigerator’s contents disappear as the door closes. She says bah to cars that pass and yesterday at the playground, as the wind blew dried leaves past her, she waved and bah-ed each and every one.

Emerald also says hi, which comes out “ha”. She gets the general drift of coming and going, which word to say when, but has no awareness of the passing of time or when the next greeting or parting will be. We adults have learned that hellos and goodbyes aren’t always arranged as we’d like them.

When Mary first announced her pancreatic cancer, she and the rest of us immediately jumped to the conclusion that our finals goodbyes were almost on top of us. Thankfully, we were wrong and have said lots of hellos since then. At Mayo Clinic we said our goodbyes before her surgery, just in case, but again were grateful to say hello directly afterwards.

Any cancer diagnosis gives new importance to goodbyes and hellos, though not necessarily in a negative way. Instead it prompts an awareness that life is fragile, and every day is a gift. Nothing is taken for granted or assumed. Instead, whatever time we have is viewed as unexpected and highly appreciated. A “normal” day like Mary had today, doing laundry and buying groceries, is viewed as a tremendous blessing.

Mary admits to battling fear over her uncertain future. Where will the hellos and goodbyes be placed on her life’s timeline? It might be better just to go with the “ha’s” and the “bah’s” of the moment like Emerald does, unaware of time passing and therefore not stressed about what the days ahead might bring.

And just as Emerald watches her mommy for signals of when to start waving ha or bah, Mary and the rest of us can watch our heavenly Father for his tip-offs as to which message we should wave when, trying to be content to do it either way.

“Be content with such things as you have, for he himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you’.” (Hebrews 13:5)

Mary’s Prayer Requests

1. Pray for weight gain, that nutrients would be absorbed
2. Pray that she will take one day at a time and not fear the unknown future
3. Praise for connecting with several others on tube feedings who have leftover food to give away. (It’s like liquid gold!)
4. Praise for a day doing “normal” things like laundry