Every mother of babies and toddlers has been stopped by strangers who’ve said, “Oh honey…. these are the best years.”

When mommies hear that, they’re usually exhausted from getting up during the night, carrying a baby all day, dealing with toddler-tantrums, and listening to an exorbitant amount of whining. “The best years?” they say. “If these are the best, how will I ever cope with the worst?”

Of course what strangers mean is that these are the only baby-years: pudgy bodies, sloppy kisses, first words, first steps. In that sense, they’re good years, though they don’t happen without exacting a high price from parents.

I love little children, especially that amazing year between the first and second birthdays when they learn to walk, talk, eat, think, and so much more. Those developments usually come in a predictable order, but parenting has plenty of surprises, too.

One of them is the intense joy of relationships with our non-baby children, the ones who’ve grown into adults. We’re still their parents but no longer bear the burden of responsibility for them, so are free to interact as friends, too. The big surprise was how much fun that turned out to be.

For example, this weekend I got a call from our community mail house that a package marked “perishable” was waiting for me. It had come all the way from Hawaii, but from whom?

Inside a nest of shredded newspapers was a spectacular array of tropical flowers like I’d never seen before, amazing blooms with secondary blossoms growing out of those.

Fishing for the card, I found the signature, “From the Hawaiian Dynamic Duo, Nelson and Tom.” Our Nelson is operations manager on the Youth With A Mission base in Kona, Hawaii, and Tom is the head electrician there, a guy with “flower connections.”

I contacted Nelson immediately to exclaim over my gift and said, “But what’s the occasion?”

His answer was one of those lovely parenting surprises that come from grown children: “Just to say I miss you.”

Decades ago when I was slogging through stores with young children and someone told me those were the best years, I never dreamed the years with adult kids would be in close competition. Even more than the exotic flowers last weekend was the joy of hearing that Nelson misses us as much as we miss him across the 4300 miles between us.

I’ve seen Mary and Bervin’s children elicit the same delight in them, especially during these days of cancer and chemo. Their grown kids have come alongside and expressed their feelings through words, gifts, and service, special perks genuinely needed and fully appreciated.

BTW, these unexpected pleasures from adult children are unavailable from our pudgy little ones, even though those are “the best years.” But God’s intention is that parents view each child as a  blessing always… at every age.

“Children are a gift from the Lord.” (Psalm 127:3)

Praising and Praying with Mary

1. I’m grateful for a wonderful Monday without chemo this week.
2. Please pray my feeding tube will stop acting up with discomfort/pain, though I’m thankful it nourishes me through the night.