I often think of Nate and his present-day surroundings. He’s four years gone from us, which translates to four years in the presence of Jesus. Scripture gives an inkling about what he’s experiencing, but for the most part it’s all a question mark.

While walking the Lake Michigan wave-line, which I often do, I keep my eyes on the stones underfoot. Because of winter’s wild waves, beach glass and choice rocks can easily be found at this time of year. Although I carried a collection bag, my mind was a million miles away, and I hadn’t picked up a single stone.

I was walking in a familiar place, but where was Nate walking? What was he doing? He’s already met Jesus and no doubt has been supernaturally humbled, falling to the ground as we all probably will when we see our Lord. Has Jesus touched him on the shoulder the way he did John? (Revelation 1:17) Has he said, “Don’t be afraid. Let me show you some of the marvels of Paradise and tell you things that will astound you.”?

Is he learning of specific times a guardian angel saved him from accidents? Or how his prayers were answered? Or what Jesus’ parables mean, even the ones that didn’t get written down? Has he been given answers to all of his questions?

As I walked along the beach, I felt left out. I know I’m headed for the same miraculous experiences Nate is now having and wouldn’t dream of rushing God’s time table to get there, but I just wanted to understand at least part of what was happening to him today. That’s all.

Watching hundreds of stones pass beneath my toes as I walked but picking up none, my eye suddenly landed on something special. Not even half an inch long, it was a stone of nondescript grey. The reason it caught my eye, though, was its square shape and the perfect heart carved inside it.

I picked it up and stared at it. As I did, God flooded my mind with a message. “I realize you’re frustrated not knowing what’s happening to Nate. You’re also bothered by not being able to watch my interaction with him or listen in to our conversation. But what about the conversation I’m trying to have with you today? See that stone in your hand? With a million rocks under your feet, what were the odds you’d find that one?”

I knew the answer: a million to one.

Although there’s much I don’t know, I do know one critical thing. Jesus loves me and told me today. And as I turned toward home, I contributed to the conversation by saying, “Lord, I love you, too.”

“You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy.” (1 Peter 1:8)