One of my favorite singers, Eydie Gorme, sang a song so thought-provoking that several years ago I wrote out the lyrics and filed them in a manila folder under “Time”, which was the name of her song.
She sang, “Back when I was young and summer was forever, ‘good’ was your first name.”
For most people, good times fill their youthful years, along with hope for a happy future. I love looking at this picture of Nate taken in early 1971, because seeing him there in our first apartment, dressed as he is, floods my mind with good-time-memories. He was finishing law school, and I was teaching first grade. Although we had very few possessions and minimal money, it was all good times.
And then the clock began moving, ticking even as we slept. Nate graduated, we moved, he became a lawyer, I became a stay-at-home mommy. Seven kids grew up, went to college, moved away, and made us proud. We had weddings and then grandchildren. And in what seemed like a quick minute, time ended, at least for Nate. And my time as his wife ended, too.
Eydie sang, “Time, when did you begin trading your tomorrows for worn out just-todays?”
In January of 2010, when I’d been a widow for three months, I remember sitting in a chair at twilight, my hands in my lap, doing absolutely nothing but listening to the tick-tock of a wall clock. Immobilized by sadness, I didn’t know what to do. It seemed appropriate to just listen to time slipping away. I was worn out by grief, and life had morphed into a series of “worn out just-todays.”
The same wall clock is still ticking today, but I’m feeling much better. Sitting in a chair doing nothing isn’t something I want anymore. I remember Mom saying, as a new widow, “Life will never be the same.” I’m sure that thought floats through the mind of every new widow or widower who has had a satisfying marriage. It dominated my thinking for a long time, too.
It’s true that life can never be the same after a mate dies, and I know I’ll never stop wondering what today, tomorrow or next year would have been like, had Nate been with us. But today, tomorrow and next year can be good again. It’ll just be in new ways.
Eydie sang, “Time, you rolled into years, years that left me walking, when you began to fly.”
Time is indeed flying, and I may be walking rather than flying, but sometimes a long walk can turn out to be a really good time.
“The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong… but time and chance happen to them all.” (Eccl. 9:11)
Praying and Praising with Mary
- I’m thankful my nausea is mild after today’s chemo. Also, my painful feeding tube will most likely be replaced next week.
- Pray for strength and energy to cope with non-stop commitments for a week or so.
I so liked this today!! Thank you– it was 7 years ago on Saturday that my husband left this earth.. so it was very nice… all so true – TIME.. wow.. going going GONE!
Your comment resonates in my heart. Looking back those happy times with my husband, my brothers and my mom and dad along with the six grandchildren sitting around together laughing, telling stories, just talking…..how brief, how precious. Sometimes I want to say to young people, “Do you see what you have? Don’t miss it! It goes so quickly.” When my daughters were young, the diapers, the bottles, the toys…I thought it would never end. But I do remember clearly that I knew playing with my kids, reading to them was so important; more than schedules and a perfect house, etc. I also remember that Sunday, “What a perfect day. Thank You Lord!” And then my husband fell and before the day was over, he was in a coma and he never woke up. But I know that because of my Lord Jesus Christ there are still good and wonderful days ahead. I must not waste them by looking back and wishing the old days were still here.
Good post, Margaret. I think ‘good memories’ are God’s gift of ‘comfort’ to remind us of ‘His blessings of the past’, but helping us to embrace the present, to have courage to anticipate the future, is a gift from Him also. Whatever ‘time’ it is, in our lives, it is truly a ‘gift of God’.
I have to constantly remind myself…”time – as we know it – only exists on earth”. Expect good things, they will come!
Yesterday, while at the pool, two of the grandkids mentioned the subject of time. The almost 14 yr old said, “Time is flying by, so quickly. It was just ‘the other day’ when I was learning to do things over at the deep end.” The almost 7 yr. old said, “I’m not in the baby pool, anymore. I’m at the 4 ft side and I don’t know what happened. Everything is fast.” All of this reminds me: make good choices and plans, today, so as to have great memories, tomorrow! Margaret, thanks for today’s blog entry.
Eugenia Price wrote this after the homegoing of her father:
” Our loved ones are no longer governed by time “.
Excellent!!!!
This is such an excellent post, Margaret. Thanks for your creativity and ability to get lessons and concepts into writing for our benefit. A poignant & motivating reminder to keep moving ahead, spiritually and otherwise, while we have time.
–Ruth