We first came together on a church committee 31 years ago, a group of young moms staffing the nursery during Sunday morning services. The committee met monthly to divvy up jobs, write a newsletter, discuss ideas and inspire each other to be good wives and mothers. Our nursing babies attended the committee meetings, too, most of whom are now grown with babies of their own.
But following an agenda was not all that happened at our meetings. Friendships were formed, and chit-chat included laughter and sometimes tears as we shared parenting struggles along with dessert. Years passed, and most of us left nursery duty to serve in other ways, but we still wanted to get together. That’s when our Club was officially formed. We were in our forties, zooming toward our fifties, and decided to name our group The Menopausal Mamas, or The M&M’s.
Anyone could join us, but they had to meet one of three requirements: 1) be over forty, 2) be in menopause, or 3) have a teenager. All three of those categories needed strong doses of female support, and on that basis, we came together.
In the beginning years we each brought hand work to Club, needlepoint, photo albums, art projects, mending. One balanced her check book. Another graded school papers. I used to do my ironing. As we worked, we talked. If someone arrived at Club in a quandary over something, she could count on the rest of us to prop her up with understanding and acceptance. Before long, she’d be laughing.
The M&M’s have come together to make banquet centerpieces, plan bridal showers and celebrate milestone birthdays. We’ve also spent time praying in one accord when problems needed more than discussion. Most of all we’ve gathered just to spend time together, enjoying the luxury of being ourselves in the company of long-term friends.
Nine of us became the “old faithful,” and together we’ve been through thick and thin. In our early meetings, we joked we’d be the ones to plan luncheons after each others’ funerals. The first lunch of this kind has now occurred when The M&M’s laid out a lavish buffet after Nate’s funeral. I’ll never forget the strength and steadiness with which they made that difficult day go as well as possible for me and our family.
My mom belonged to her own Club when I was growing up. They met monthly and started their group during World War I. They called themselves Purl Harder, since many of them were knitting (and purling) for service men after the attack on Pearl Harbor. I remember lying in bed listening to these women talk and laugh until the wee hours of the morning, wondering what in the world could be so entertaining to a bunch of old ladies. Now I know it’s simply a healthy way to release the pressure of being wives and mothers. Our kids have listened to the same kind of animated conversation from their beds during meetings of The M&M’s.
Women love to be with other women. When I used to tell Nate, “I have Club tonight…” he could have responded with, “What, again?” or in some other way discouraged me from going. After all, I was leaving him with homework time, bath time and bedtime on a work day. Instead he’d say, “Go ahead and go. It’s cheaper than a psychiatrist.”
On that score, he was right. When one of us has a problem, we bring it to Club where it can be talked through and solved. We share photos of weddings and grandchildren, marveling at the cycles of life. Although it gets more and more difficult to bring everyone together, we continue to meet.
Mom’s Club members have their get-togethers in heaven now, all but one, and she’s anxious to join them. In time, the M&M’s will go the same route. But for now, we’ll continue where we are, loving, laughing, celebrating and consuming fabulous desserts!
“Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way. Say to those with fearful hearts, ‘Be strong. Do not fear; your God will come’.” (Isaiah 35:3-4a)
Well Said. Women need other women, especially christian women.I have a similar group called Birthday Club. We have been getting together monthy for 40 years! Some of us are descendents of our Mom’s Birthday Club. We have gone through weddings, births, gandchildren, deaths of parents, death of 1 member death of 1 member’s spouse and many more life events. I have similar memories of my Mom’s Birhtday Club meetings and my kids have memories of our meetings of talking and laughing. We keep the number at 12 and replace members as they leave. We have 4 requirements for membership: love to talk and laugh, love to cook, love the Lord and cannot be thin! What wonderful times of Fellowship we have shared throughtout the years.
I love the title of your group! Long time friends are a treasure.
All nine of you are indeed fortunate to have such ties that bind. A lifetime of memories, prayers, support. “Bless be the ties that bind our hearts in christian love…”
Oh, what fun we’ve had together over the years! Together we’ve shared our joys and sorrows, cried and laughed, prayed and sung, worked and played, planned and partied. We’ve seen each other through every stage of life: marriage, childbirth, raising children, the college years, their weddings and now the joyful and busy years of grandmothering. What a wonderful support group we’ve been for each other. I love you all dearly!
Oh how well I remember Purl Harder! Every month Mom would travel into Chicago or the suburbs from Winthrop Harbor, often not getting back until very late. I might lay awake worrying about her, but I doubt that Dad did; he had full confidence in her driving and knew how important it was for her to go. It was your mom who had a bridal shower for me and who played the organ for Mom’s funeral. All those precious ladies we called “Aunt Pat”, or Aunt Joyce or Helen or Elaine or Ruth. You’ve revived some wonderful memories this morning! Thank you.
i remember that wonderful Nursery Committee – you all made the nursery experience so much better for my babies. I can identify three of you from the pictures, but I’m stuck on the rest. How lovely to see those precious faces.
Aren’t women friends the BEST ?! Who else could you share some of these things with? No man would understand. At first I thought you were talking about our little group, “B’day Club” Was great to be together again. You are very blessed to have so many fine Christian girlfriends. Glad to be one.
All of this reminded me of the song, “Make new friends, but keep the old, the one is Silver and the other, Gold”. I believe the huge circle of friendship even extends to Heaven, as we raise our hands upward.
Two are better than one, a cord of three strands is not easily broken, so this group of +7 is as sturdy as they come!
I do recognize an M and M or two. Friends are a great gift.
Love,
Terry
Marnie–I think that the “Nursery Committee” first started earlier–I had Lora in 1973 and I think that was when we actually got started as an official functioning committee. If I remember rightly you were the first one in charge, then Mary followed later. That would be more like 36 years ago!! What a blessing it was to a part of that group. I learned so much! We shared a vision, and love for our Savior and Church and for His little ones and for one another. We had that nursery remodeled, revamped and re-energized! But Mrs. Ferguson stayed! It became a sweet place of safety and love. I think singing “Jesus Loves Me” was required of all workers :-). But again this was long before there were any MM’s in the group!! It was so nice to hear how the group continued and blessed and enriched the lives of all it touched! What a special place Moody Church was for so many and still is today!!
What a very sweet note you wrote about all of us!.. and every bit of it true! What a treasure M & M’s has been to me. I Love you all! nancy
Oh you women were one of the most POWERFUL groups in the church!!!! What you guys said in the nursery was final!!!!
I loved the Crib Sheet, it was such fun to see what the kids were saying, foods to try, thoughts to consider, etc.
Nancy, loved seeing you then and now. Give our love to Jim.
You all were wonderful and as grandma’s must be awesome. That means you too Rebecca!!!
Beth Jones and Bruce would say this too!!
I had the privilege for many years of being part of the nursery committee that all these women were a part of. Their lives have had such an influence on mine and continue to. These are Godly women that knew how to have fun and made my child raising years do-able. I think of many of you so often. I have never confessed this before, but I had a son right around the time we had one of our cookie swaps and so I couldn’t participate in it, but Margaret brought me over 22 dozen cookies anyways. I remember nursing my son and eating cookies! I single handily consumed 22 doz. No wonder my son had such bad colic! Thanks for all the wonderful memories and incredible examples of servant living! I Love you all SueEllen
My mom was part of the “other” group at Moody Church, the “Links”. How she loved those women! We lived in Winona Lake for 20 years so her trips were very long…but she went. I still have the pictures they has taken around WWII and then in the 1970s. I believe my mom may be the only still here, the rest are in heaven. Thank you for the reminder of these dear ladies that were my mom’s best friends.
You go girl!! I recognize every one of you M&M’s and am still smiling just thinking of the wonder of Christian girlfriends and the enrichment and encouragement they bring. Love your blog and love you, Margaret!