Having been with Mom, Dad, and Nate at the end of their lives, I’ve learned one thing for sure: people on heavy pain meds are not themselves. All of us wonder what will come out of us in our final days. Dad remained dignified, and Nate was accurate and gracious to the end.
But Mom? Absolutely goofy. Her colorful statements were so entertaining, we kept a log at her bedside. She’d been a one-woman-show during her non-medicated life, and her words while drugged (for pain) stayed in line with her character.
Get ready to laugh.
- Chewing on the hem of her hospital gown she said, “This tastes good, and I like the color. It’s also very nourishing.”
- To a grandson: “Let’s play funeral. I’ll be the corpse. You be the soloist.”
- To a sweet visitor: “I can’t wait to get rid of you.”
- “The most important thing is my conversation with God. He talks out of the Bible, and I talk back.”
- To me: “Let’s both get in the same bed and start a riot about same sex marriage.”
- It’d be nice to see my apartment again, but I guess I’d rather go to heaven. I’ll wave down at you.”
- Looking at our wrinkles: “Do I have strings all up and down my face? Because both Mary and Margaret do.”
- To a nurse removing her dinner: “Save those leftovers! When I’m in heaven, if the Lord decides not to return to Earth, I’ll have something to feed him.”
- “Maybe I’ll go to bed now.” We said, “You’re already in bed.” Then she said, “Boy, that was easy.”
- Son Tom asked: “How do you feel?” She said, “With my hands. How do you feel?”
- After restlessly working both legs out from under the sheets, she began laughing hysterically We said, “What’s so funny?” She sputtered, “My beautiful legs!”
- To me: “I wish you a Happy New Year and that you’ll get prettier.”
- “If I can do anything for you, let me know. I can only do things in my miserable way, but I am the way, the truth and the life.”
- “It’s nice when parents are just starting out and know that ‘Jesus loves their little children.’ That helps when they don’t know anything.”
- “Maybe I should change my mind about going to heaven tonight. There’s lots of happy people here, too.”
- “I served 10 salmon. Put the rest over there. It’s brain food. It’s ok, but not great.”
- “When I die, just drown the [pet] bird and throw him in the toilet.”
- Pushing an invisible item around the end of the bed with her foot: “I’m trying to get that muffin over into the corner.”
- A friend called and said, “Who’s there with you?” She said, “Just Mary and Margaret, if you call them visitors. It’s more like a zoo.”
- “Today I’m better. I have happiness running out of my lips.”
- To a visitor: “I’m going to throw up any minute…on you.”
- Fingering her hospital gown: “I’m going to send this to Joyce. She likes blue and can wallpaper a room with it.”
- “If I ever wrote a book, it would be about the magnificent mercy of God.”
These are just a few from 26 pages of Mom’s colorful statements. She spoke often of her approaching death but never with uncertainty or fear. One of her last statements while “under the influence” was, “Some stumble, some fall, but if we love Jesus Christ, we all eventually get home.”
She got home 19 days later… but forgot to take her leftovers.
“We would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord.” (2 Corinthians 5:8)
Thank you so much for sharing tonight about your mom. She was such a sweet friend to us. We would not be at Bethany if it wasn’t for her. She was a delight, what a nice way to end the day with some good laughs!!
Well, Margaret. What comes out at the end is what was in there to begin with. Your dear Mother had humor and grace until the end – and she’s probably keeping things funny in heaven.
OMG! I am laughing so hard. I wish I could have known her. Thanks so much for sharing!
That picture and those words are such great compliments to the memories I have of her. Thank you for sharing!
That was hilerious and so much “her”.
She was always true in her sayings even at the end,
it just came out differently and more blunt.
Thank you for sharing
Margaret,
Thank you for the laughs, that was great! Your Mom sounds like a great lady, how blessed are you to have had her.
The reason I can laugh is because my late husband said some funny things under the influence. He only lived 2 1/2 months with the last 10 days being heavily medicated. One of the things he kept doing was trying to get out of bed and me and the kids and hospice nurses would hug him and calm him down and tell him it was ok that everything was taken care of and he would say ” I need to get up, let me go” and one time he said that followed by “I’m not kidding” 🙂 Another time he told my 16 yo daugher, “get ready were all going out for lunch” 🙂
What joy to know that both my husband and your Mom are in heaven now and we have these wonderful memories of them. And how like our wonderful Lord to give us laghter in the midst of such heartache. Praise Be! Thank you for writing, I read your posts every morning and I am blessed for it.
I pray for you and your sister Mary.
Blessings to you my dear sister,
Catherine
Pain killers can do strange things in us. I will always remember your dear mother for her for her humor, but also for her love for Jesus.
Margaret, I missed the original post in 2011. Thanks for the repeat of a priceless entry. Evident readers add in their own warm and delightful memories of your mom as I do to recall a pretty great circle of love and friendship! Oh, won’t it be the grandest reunion one day?!
Your Mom was so special and such a great sense of humor. This was so fun to read! Thanks Margaret KB
One of my mom’s funniest when she was in the nursing home and under the influence of morphine, was when she would call me up and say, “Betch don’t know where I am!” She thought she was in downtown Dallas shopping.
Another time when she was actually very alert, the RN asked her why she was having nausea and my mother replied, “I’m pregnant!”
Marni, Thank you for the wonderful reminder of your Mom
and how the Lord was still the center of her being even when “drugged”. But her humor was right next to Him. We are so blessed to have known Aunt Pat or Grandma Johnson as she was know in our house. Loved her dearly and so thankful she continues to live on in you and Mary.
Thanks, Margaret–I can “hear” and “see” your mother saying and doing things you posted!. Without doubt her spirit, her humor, her laugh, her love for fun was priceless. I am , however, sad to know that she suffered with chronic pain. So thankful she had 3 caring children who visited her and monitored her needs. Without a doubt “Aunt Pat” is one of my special people. Her walk with the Lord was reflected even when “under the influence”!Thanks again for articulating these special reflections. Judi