What do we do when life doesn’t turn out the way we envision it? Based on the facts we know on any given day, most of us project next-step logic. When it doesn’t follow accordingly, we become unsettled and usually unhappy.

This is especially true when a first baby is on the way. A young couple nurtures the mental picture of mama and baby snuggled together in the minutes after labor and delivery, the sweet desire of the heart accomplished just as they’d hoped. But what if the doctor delivers a piece of news that rearranges that picture?

That’s what happened to my nephew Andrew and his wife Kim during the last weeks of her pregnancy. It was a blow to learn their baby wasn’t growing as he should in the womb and that their wisest choice would be to induce delivery 3 weeks ahead of schedule. The diagnosis was Intrauterine Growth Restriction (IUGR), and the medical consensus was that the placenta wasn’t delivering adequate nutrition to the baby.

Little Anders James was born on December 22 weighing 4 pounds 2 ounces but other than his low weight seemed healthy and whole. So what does a young couple do when their parenthood picture looks nothing like what they visualized?

They do the same thing all young couples do. They love, protect, and pamper their new baby. These particular parents have also rooted for their newborn in ways most parents never do, applauding each half-ounce of milk he takes in, comforting him when the effort to suck wears him out.

They’ve also become immediately aware of the fragility of life, something most new mothers and fathers don’t learn till much later. And they work to bond with their new baby through tubes, wires, and the NICU schedule. Caring for their little one is done in the presence of hospital personnel, and when it’s time to go home each night, they don’t get to take their baby with them.

Kim and Andrew’s introduction to parenthood has been anything but smooth, yet they’ve responded to each complication with courage and endurance. When Anders’ weight slipped to 3 pounds 15 ounces, they didn’t panic but trusted God to bring the gains he needed and continued diligently to tend to his feedings. When he pulled out his feeding tube again and again, they patiently endured his objections as it was reestablished.

The Lord is hovering close to this young family as it goes through these difficult days of wondering what the future will hold while managing the complex present. But God made Anders to be exactly who he is, a little fellow working hard to meet the big challenges of each new day.

And as all three of them continue to learn from each other, one thing they already know for sure: Anders James has been “fearfully and wonderfully made” by a God who loves him with an everlasting love.

“From everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children.” (Psalm 103:17)

Praising and Praying with Mary

I’m thankful Anders’ feeding tube was taken out today and that he is continuing to gain weight, up to 4 pounds 11 ounces at last count.

Please pray he’ll continue to make steady gains and that the Lord will direct as to which day he leaves the hospital.