Not one of us escapes a ride in a hearse. As Pastor Erwin Lutzer says, “We’re all born with an expiration date.” Today I was poignantly reminded of that while attending the funeral of a beloved 87 year old friend. Although I knew there would be tears, at this funeral they would be shed through smiling eyes for two reasons: 1) this lady had lived a life that sparkled, and 2) there was no question she was now living in heaven.
Raye Jeanne was the kind of person whose entrance into a room could not be missed. She approached life with an eye to its blessings and looked for the positives in every situation. She loved people, friends and strangers alike, from a heart overflowing with compassion. Her smile was broad and her laugh contagious as she remained future-focused until the day she died.
Traveling the globe in her last years, Raye Jeanne left familiar places and creature comforts to experience foreign lands with strange foods and customs. Her sense of adventure was that of a child. As her children put it, she “grabbed life with both hands.”
Even her death was accomplished with flair. After lunching out with her daughter-in-law, the two of them visited the local grocery store where she conversed lovingly with a stranger in a wheelchair, asking his name, communicating caring. She also bargained with the manager to get the next day’s sale price on the bag of oranges she was buying that day.
Shortly after she put chocolate milk into her cart, they were on their way to the check-out when her body crumbled to the floor. Her heart had stopped without warning or pain. Her daughter-in-law, store personnel, paramedics and a surgeon made valiant efforts to save her, but Raye Jeanne’s expiration date had arrived.
Today’s funeral was a lively celebration of her very full, widely influential life. This morning while dressing, I’d wondered if Nate’s recent death and our funeral for him would come rushing back to me in a way that would cause anguish. I needn’t have worried. The minute we stepped into the funeral home, the mood was ebullient, a reflection of Raye Jeanne. One son read a spirited eulogy, another told of his recent trip with her to Jerusalem. No speech was without points of humor, and all of us chuckled while honoring her memory.
How is it possible to laugh heartily at a funeral? There’s only one reason, and it’s our sure knowledge that she’s in a much better place today than she was in her life on earth. Her family knows the separation is only temporary and that they’ll be reunited with her in the presence of Jesus Christ one day. This awareness makes today’s goodbyes easier.
When I approached the casket, Raye Jeanne’s eleven year old grandson Michael was standing as close as he could get to his Granny. “What are you thinking, Michael?” I asked.
“It doesn’t seem like her because she’s not smiling,” he said, picking up her lifeless hand and lovingly stroking it. “And she’s cold.”
His honest response was recognition that the Granny he knew was no longer there. But Michael is confident he’ll see her smile at him again later, so he doesn’t despair.
The pastor detailed the difference between funerals he’s performed at which the mourners aren’t sure what happens after death and funerals like Raye Jeanne’s where mourners are confident of heaven. One group clings to the body and life on earth. The other clings to Christ and life in heaven. Scripture talks about those who have no hope when a loved one dies and those who grieve in a different way because they have hope that life after death is superior to life before it.
Christ is the doorway to that life, the doorway to God. He says it himself in Scripture (John 10:9) and makes it easy for anyone to walk through it. Raye Jeanne accepted this truth while on earth, and because of that, on Thursday of last week, she stepped into an eternity of total bliss.
“Jesus said… ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me’.” (John 14:6)
Raye Jeanne was a great person and I’m happy I got to meet her during my last two visits to MI with her sons family =)..
Thanks for sharing Midge!!
There is a song about heaven that ends, “Another soldier is coming Home.” Raye Jeanne was a great warrior with a fabulous smile and the gifts of mercy and encouragement. You can only imagine her reaction going from an aisle in the grocery store to the throne room of heaven.
Thanks for this rememberance of Raye Jeanne. “Sparkle” is the perfect word for her. When you talked with her she gave her undivided attention and made you feel like you were the most important person in the world at that moment. Such a unique person, infectious smile … good memories.
My last memory of Raye Jeanne is at our Moody Church & Camp reunion, in 2007. She came up to me, took my hand in hers, patted it, and held it the whole time we talked. Her twinkly eyes, darling cheeks, and huge smile were indicative of a wonderful Soul!
Raye Jeannes funeral must have been a real celebration with more laughs than tears. Margaret did a great job in describing Ray Jeannes personality. Every time i saw her she would say ” I love your mother”. In the last few years she changed that to telling me how much she loved Susan. She had a unique style unlike anyone most of us have ever met. The thought of certain people just make you smile and Ray Jeanne is one of them.
Is there anyone Ray Jeanne did not love? I don’t think so. God bless her family and her memory.
Hi Margaret,
The two pictures above are incongruous aren’t they? From your description, a vibrant, spirited woman, carried in a somber, bat-like hunk of metal.
But just like the grave couldn’t keep Jesus down, neither the hearse nor the cemetery can hold His followers. Several years ago a guest speaker at church called out to his wife from the pulpit instructing her at his funeral, “honey, don’t tell people I’ve died; tell them I’ve moved.”
The two thieves on either side of Jesus were probably for most of their lives… thieves. Both of them were immortalized in the gospels for very different reasons. One continued to mock Jesus until his final breath. The other in less than three hours had a complete change of mind, recognizing he was a sinner in tremendous need of a Savior and he knew Jesus was it. Both thieves, with very different eternities. To the one who turned his face to Jesus, Jesus simply said, “today you will be with Me in paradise.”
Ray Jeanne has just joined him, in the twinkling of an eye. I am sure she would be so delighted by your reflections on her life as well as highlighting what was most important about her. It would have been a blessing to know her. Thank you for introducing us to her on your blog.
Love,
Terry
P.S.
Not even oatmeal can prevent the ride in the shiny black car, huh? Maybe the 3C’s ARE a better diet!
John and I were so glad we made the trip around the lake to be at Raye Jeanne’s memorial service. It was good to see dear friends that we have not been with for too many years. Although God has called us to the four corners of the earth, we look forward to that time when “good byes” are no longer needed.
Duh- forgot to bring the two thieves to conclusion. It’s not often anyone might get a chance to turn to Christ “in the nick of time,” like the one thief. Being a math teacher, I’d not gamble on those odds. More than likely, death might come more like Ray Jeanne, in an instant. Death did not rob her of decision, as she made hers early on. It is a wise piece of Scripture that coaxes, “TODAY, if you hear His voice do not harden your heart… now is the acceptable time, now is the day of salvation.”
Hi Margaret, I have been touched by reading your blog. I feel connected from one widow to another.I lost my Dave to cancer August 25, 2009. From diagnosis to his death was a short 33 days. I often still can’t believe he is living in Heaven. He had liver cancer and boy did he fight, but one day the cancer decided to take on his entire body and who would ever think that we would pray for the Lord to take him home. But in the end we did because we saw how much pain he endured and we knew if God wasn’t going to heal him that he needed to take him. There are many similarities between our stories. I am so sorry that you lost Nate, he sounded like a very loving, caring man. Dave was only 51 and was a big kid at heart. He leaves four children to mourn his loss and I see it in their faces every day. We also viewed it as Dave’s race and because he had such a competitive spirit I know he thought by dying he was losing the race and on the morning of his passing I whispered in his ear “You won Dave, you won, go receive your reward” and within an hour he was gone – so peacefully. It really does get harder before it gets easier. Once reality has set in, everything becomes more painful. Oh how grateful I am to know the Lord and to have Him in my corner. I am thankful too for friends and family and my job. And of course my children, they often encourage me with words, laughs, hugs and love! It must be healing for you to share with your writing – I know it has helped me. So thank you so much for opening your heart. God’s blessings on you and your family.
Martye,
Margaret’s picture of Ray Jeanne and the last sentence of your comment are a great connection.
Since Jo-Nell and I were married in Mr. Moody’s Church almost 43 years ago, I doubt I have seen her more than a couple of times. But everything you said about her in word and picture, Margaret, ring as authentic with memories over five decades old.
I remember Ray Jeanne with great fondness–Rusty also from our years at Moody Church. Yes–always smiling and with a kind word. Heaven is richer today!