Adjusting to the death of a spouse is always a challenge, but when there isn’t a minute of warning, it’s doubly difficult. That’s what happened to my neighbor and friend, Betty, when her husband Tom collapsed in an instant.

The two of them were on their way from Michigan to Chicago’s Loop for a couple of appointments and a night in a downtown hotel. But while walking from the train, their lives took an unexpected, unwelcome turn.

Tom said he needed to sit down for a moment, after which he put his head back and lost consciousness. Thankfully a policeman nearby was ready to help, and in just a few minutes Tom was on his way to a hospital. But God’s angels had already escorted him out of Chicago and into Paradise.

Because Tom was a vibrant man full of positive energy, his absence has left a big hole in the lives of many, especially Betty. But there’s great satisfaction in knowing his eternity was and is secure. That’s because decades ago he had entrusted his life (and his death) to God.

I attend the same church as Betty and Tom, and last fall our pastor preached a series called “Thanksliving,” emphasizing the importance of living with gratitude. One Sunday he handed out rubberized bracelets with “Thanksliving” written on them, and Tom was quick to put one on.

Long after the sermon series had ended and most people’s bracelets had been put away, the pastor asked Tom when he was going to take his off. He responded that he wasn’t… just like he wasn’t going to stop thanks-living.

When he died, he was still wearing the bracelet.

Tom had made up his mind to be a thankful person, despite the fact that his life had been plagued with trouble – beginning with a motorcycle accident in young adulthood that nearly killed him and then derailed his first-choice career. But through that and other close calls with death, Tom refused to feel sorry for himself. He never complained.

Why is God so firm about insisting we always be grateful, even in dire circumstances? It’s probably because he knows that as we search for blessings, what we’re going to find is him. And when we lay hold of him, we’ll be lifted from a problem-focus to a possibility-focus.

All things are possible with God. But the power he promises to put into our situations will be lost on us if we don’t look to him with appreciative hearts. And that’s not all. When we choose gratitude, it’s our golden opportunity to give blessing back to God.

Betty will miss Tom for a long time to come, but after 45 years of marriage, I have a hunch the two of them were probably in cahoots on this thanksliving thing. As a  matter of fact, Betty just might decide to wear his bracelet herself.

The Lord says… “The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me.” (Psalm 50:23)