In Chicago, as I spent my days with 51 kindergarteners, my thoughts were always on Nate. In Champaign, as he spent his days with law books and military men, his thoughts were always on me. But our thinking looked very different.
He was focused on “being worthy” of me, and I was focused on my own unworthiness. On many days, as I reflected on Nate’s wholehearted love, I wondered what in the world he saw in me. I could hardly believe how thoroughly he loved me when so often I was selfish and unlovable. And I began to worry that once we were married, he would be disappointed in me. I committed in my heart I would do my very best for this one who loved me with such abandon.
May 18, 1969 – To my wonderful Nate. The early, early morning is a wonderful time to be alive. I took a short walk in the city this morning because I got ready early, and the sun’s sparkle on everything just cheered me so much. If I get a job down near you, even before we are married we can have breakfast together sometimes and maybe take a sunrise walk, too. And when marriage finally rolls around, wowie-zowie!
May 18, 1969 – Dearest Meg. After a good night’s rest last night, I went to church this morning at the Bible Church, and the pastor said some excellent things (outline enclosed). Now I’m getting ready to study, but first I’m going to say a prayer of thanksgiving for having Meg in my life. I love you.
May 19, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’m so glad you love the Lord as I do. We’ll have to remember what Pastor Sweeting told us at the picnic, that people who are anticipating Christian growth mustn’t hesitate to get involved. We’ll do that after we’re married and after we’ve settled into one of the strong Bible-teaching churches in your area there. I think of you the whole way through every day. And I love those thoughts. You are one of a kind.
May 19, 1969 – Dearest Meg, my Future Wife. I’m still savoring last weekend, Saturday. It was fabulous! Flowers, lions, picnic, and Meg, Meg, Meg! I love you! Please pray for us, and also for my exams, the rest of this week.
May 20, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’ve been thinking of how much you love me, and I’m confident you always will. And I want to tell you now, if I ever even border on taking advantage of your love or taking you for granted in ANY way, EVER, then please pounce on me and tell me, because I would never never never want to be that way. Sadly, I’m less thoughtful and considerate than you. I’d never mean to take advantage of your love, but if it ever happens, I want to be stopped.
May 20, 1969 – Dearest Meg. What a fabulous woman you are! I would love to get married before January, if that would work out. Maybe September when you move here? I suppose January might be better for us family-wise, though.
May 20, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’ve decided not to dwell on how many days we will be apart before we marry, but rather to think about how fortunate I am to see you as much as I do. I’m a very lucky girl to have you at all, as my almost-husband. My roommate is sure we’ll end up married by September! I told her it couldn’t happen – being too soon – but it sure does sound good. I’m still looking for a substitute Sunday school teacher. One good thing: my Sunday afternoon junior club responsibilities end after 3 more Sundays. They break for summer.
“Let your reasonableness be known to everyone.” (Philippians 4:5)