Thinking back to the excruciating days of Nate’s cancer diagnosis and our first realization things might end up badly, I wasn’t sure what direction our conversations should take. Although the words “terminal” and “fatal” had been directly spoken to us by knowing doctors, it took a while for Nate and I to talk along those lines.
One of the first things he said that let me know he was beginning to absorb the brevity of his life was, “Could you find some verses you think would be good for me right now? Write them down so I can keep them with me.”
Happy to comply, I prayed and pleaded with God to give me exactly the Scriptures Nate needed. Then I typed up eight passages and printed them out, and Nate gratefully accepted the two pages. The next day I noticed he’d looked them all up and written down who the speaker was in each group of verses.
True to his word, he kept the Scriptures with him, reading and re-reading the supernaturally powerful words of God. Although I couldn’t imagine how dispiriting it would be to be told you were going to die soon, fear must have continually hovered at the edges of his mind. No human being could have delivered what he needed, but God knew precisely what to tell him.
(Excerpts from the pages):
“The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do what is right.”
“I prayed to the Lord and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears.”
“God said, my grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”
“Be strong… The Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
“Call to me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things.”
“The Lord is your keeper… He will keep your soul.
Pastor Colin Smith had counseled Nate that in the beginning he’d be surrounded by a large circle of co-workers, friends, relatives, doctors. Then the circle would narrow to just our family members, and finally it would be only him, alone with God.
And that’s exactly how it went.
In his final hours, Nate was unconscious. Hospice nurses couldn’t understand how he hung onto life 48 hours after they were sure he would have succumbed, given the condition of his body. But I believe God’s Spirit kept him alive during those unexplainable hours in order to conduct important business with Nate’s soul. Nate was being freed from fear, being given grace and strength, being told the answers to his questions and being kept safe from soul-harm, exactly as the verses had assured him God would do.
When Nate was ready and the time came to slip out of his emaciated body and into a glorified one, God carefully watched over the process of his “going out” of this world and his “coming into” the next, just as he said he would.
A few days after he died, I was cleaning off the small table by his lazy-boy where he’d kept his Post-it notes, his pens, his newspapers and other important things. There I found the two well-worn pages of verses.
“He will guard your going out and your coming in, from this time forth and forever.” (Psalm 121:8)
How precious and comforting it is to look back through the eyes of God and see how He carried Nate through that scary, difficult end to his life here on earth. How well our Lord Jesus understood what Nate went through. Today’s reflection of the Passover is a daily reminder of what Jesus chose to go through for us and to hear Him say “I understand how you feel”.
What a powerful post to read on Good Friday. I just listened to a James MacDonald sermon about Jacob’s ladder. He pointed out how oblivious we are to spiritual activity, but that God and His angels are continually at work. I agree with you – when Papa seemed asleep, God was right there, at work with Papa’s soul. God is so worthy of our trust.
And thanks for the talk yesterday. Can’t wait to see you tomorrow.
Thanks for the beautiful and powerful reminder of God’s amazing grace this Good Friday morning.
“Our God is an everpresent help in trouble.”
We cannot know the comfort, strength, peace and hope that the Holy Spirit gave to Nate, as he slipped from the powerful hold and connection this life and world had upon him. Most likely he was ushered and carried by an army of holy angels into the presence of his Savior. The Word of God did what It promises, “…is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12 Nate is now resting from his works and is truly experiencing the words of Philipians 3:10: “That I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and may share His sufferings, becoming like Him in death.” What a glorious Easter for Nate!
AMEN, AMEN, AND AMEN again !! What a beautiful expression of such a difficult time for the ones left behind. It IS a ‘treasure’ of revelation and such a comfort to know how very deeply and tenderly our Lord cares for us.
Look forward to seeing you Sunday!
God Bless.
I left the above comment, just forgot to sign it.
GG patzian
Wow- the going out and coming in verse is pretty amazing when considering the context. For sure God was in that 48 hour transition.
I do believe my dad saw angels coming to get him just as he was passing out of this life. He died 6 months after the cancer diagnosis, and in that brief period of time became a believer. My mom and oldest brother were there at the moment and they said he suddenly got a look of awe on his face, made the sign of the cross (a Catholic impulse), and then was gone. I do believe that was not so much for my dad, but a testimony to the living that there is life beyond this one and that his conversion was genuine, as neither my mom nor most of my siblings are saved as far as I can tell.
On this Good Friday death defeated death, and amen to that.
Love,
Terry