My mind was racing a mile a minute as I opened the apartment door and saw my old boyfriend standing there with another guy. I had worked hard to get him out of my mind in previous weeks, but even with effort, there was still a shred of a bond between us. My hands began to shake, and I so wished Nate was standing beside me. But my partner was far away, and I had to deal with this alone.

Emotions are a tricky thing. Attachments from the past can be reawakened by a song, a scent, a picture. And the picture I saw standing in front of me was wreaking havoc in my mind. The only thing to do was leave the room until I could get some measure of control.

I excused myself to the bathroom where I cried out to a God I knew would hear me and rescue me. I asked for a calm, logical spirit to be able to cope with my spinning thoughts and the two young men standing in my living room.

Now… to continue quoting from my letter of explanation to Nate, who was hundreds of miles away:

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God heard my prayer and calmed me down considerably, enough to go back to converse with them. I asked what they were doing downtown, and it was less than a minute when they suddenly noticed my engagement ring. He [old boyfriend] said, “Hey! Wait a minute! What’s this?” And grabbed my hand. I was so proud to tell them of our engagement, about when it happened, and when our wedding would be. I was bursting with joy over you, in my words to them. He just couldn’t believe we were engaged. They invited me to go out with them (saying we would celebrate the engagement), and though we did leave the apartment briefly, we were back in minutes. He was quite sullen and quiet after he’d seen our ring and quickly became anxious to leave. I was relieved to see them go, so that I could get with the Lord in prayer and go back to 1 John. God confirmed for me immediately the rightness of our marriage and my ever-growing love for you, my future husband. I love you so much! YOUR Meg.

July 15, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Would you be up for coming down here on Sunday just for the day (20 July), if I can confirm it in a phone call? I really want to be with you. I miss you. I will try to call you Saturday, 19 July, in the early evening. You were very honest with me about your boyfriend’s visit, how long it lasted, and that he saw your ring and now realizes the completeness of the engagement. I love your honesty and your beautiful soul (praying in the bathroom) so much that I could cry. I am confident he has high enough regard for our decision to respect it by leaving us alone now. If the devil was testing you, you passed with Christ’s blessing! Excellent! I’m proud of you!

July 16, 1969 – Dear Nate. You are amazing, the way you love me no matter what. I’ve never known someone who loves like that… except, of course, the Lord. I am longing to have you with me. I need you! I’m glad we decided to get married earlier rather than later. The distance between us isn’t helping anything.

July 16, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I am very secure in your love and loyalty. I’m glad we made the decision to have each other only, and no others in any capacity on the side – that we realized lateral relationships can destroy a marriage. You’re a fabulous Christian woman. I love you! I love you, no matter what.

“So will I ever sing praises to Your name, as I perform my vows day after day.” (Psalm 61:8)