September 8-14, 1969
Over the weekend, Nate and I began hunting for a Bible-believing church to become a part of while living in Champaign. He’d been attending worship services on campus during the previous year, but this time we wanted a family-oriented atmosphere that wasn’t all college students.
The first Sunday we attended a Baptist church near our apartment and immediately felt at home. When the senior pastor made an effort to personally welcome us, we were hooked.
The best thing about church, though, wasn’t the pastor or the music but the challenging discussions that happened in our young couples Sunday school class. And of course the subject of sex came up frequently.
It was 1969, the year of Woodstock, and “free love” was all around us — even in the university friendships Nate and I were beginning to make. The maxim of the day was, “Make love not war.” But in our couples class, we were learning how to do life God’s way…. which was the opposite of what the culture was telling us. He wanted couples to save sex for marriage and had some good reasons for it.
The trouble was, Nate and I were both at the apartment every day, every evening, and often well into the night with endless hours of study. We ate our meals there and relished the together-time after our long-distance history.
Besides, his dorm-style room near campus was sterile and lonely. It seemed silly for him to “go home” in the wee hours of the morning, then return for breakfast. But as hard as we tried to line up what we wanted with what God wanted, we couldn’t do it. It would have to be one or the other – our way or his. And we wanted to deliberately make a decision rather than let it happen by default. We knew if we surrendered Nate’s room and decided to live together, the decision would make itself.
Occasionally we prayed about all this, asking God what we should do. Of course that was ridiculous, because he’d already told us. But he also knew we were trying to step in his direction. So just when our resolve was weakening, he sent us some practical help – a letter from my aunt/mentor in California. She was responding to a letter I’d written her, full of wedding details.
“Dear Margee and Nate. Thanks for the exciting, informative letter. I’ve read and re-read it. I’m trying to place you each day to pray God’s hand of guidance and love over you both. What a rapturous time for you, all joys multiplied because of your oneness in Him! Keep Him in control, and all will be well.”
But that wasn’t all. She wrote, “I should write and remind your Mom…” and I wondered what she meant. But then she explained.
Back when she was engaged (left), her fiancée (eventually my uncle) bought a home for them well ahead of their marriage. Aunt Joyce lived there by herself for many weeks before the wedding, while Uncle Edward lived nearby. They had battled temptation, too, but had remained faithful to God’s desire that they wait.
Apparently Mom had been stressing to Aunt Joyce about the temptations going on in our Champaign apartment, although she and we had never discussed it.
As always, Aunt Joyce was the voice of reason, calming Mom and calming us, too, with the story of her own experience. Then her letter said, “When we look forward to God’s best for us, we will not be so tempted to take ‘second best’ by not waiting for His time of consummation and approval.”
And then she wrote, “Do you know I love you?”
And because she was willing to risk offending us to deliver a difficult message, we knew she did…. and that God did, too.
“Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him.” (Ephesians 4:15)