This has been the adventure of a lifetime for me with a series of “firsts” like almost never before. I think, in our lives, we gravitate toward as few of those as possible the older we get. We do have our bucket lists, but more to do with having fun. I want to see the Great Wall of China, go skydiving, raise a family, learn a language or take a kickboxing class-you might have one or two NEW things you want to do before you quit this earth.

But mostly we like to be familiar with the day-to-day of our lives. The less unknowns the better. But at other times, things are done TO us or FORCED on us out of the necessity to survive. These are not always fun “Firsts”, but we do them for the greater good.
Most of the time, I’m scrambling to find something to keep normal amidst all the change. If I was asked to give a progress or update on any given day, they wouldn’t hold all that much action in and of themselves.

There are empty spaces like Friday and today. I was working out a kink in what the insurance would cover so they didn’t substitute a cheaper, less effective chemo drug for the one the docs actually prescribed, but I never actually went in for any procedure. I spent the time making phone calls which finally landed the chemo 2 days later than expected but still going forward unchanged and for that I’m soooo grateful.

Funny how my gratitude list can change. Yaaay for chemotherapy! 
It’s important to keep the main thing the main thing and remember the real reason we’re here. 
The treatment itself IS the main thing, not the symptoms. When we go to the doc, it’s usually to treat symptoms. “I have a headache, a toothache, indigestion, a broken arm, whatever… but one thing the Mayo clinic is good at is sticking with the attack on the Cancer itself over the symptoms.
I have swelling in my ankles, stomach, and back, These are fluid build-ups from infection in my body. Difficulty breathing is an ongoing problem and we do a daily fluid-drain so I don’t drown in it. There is ongoing pain in my rib cage and they treat that with opiates that cause constipation. There are meds for the constipation. It can be frustrating to bring a request or ailment to a doc only to have her brush it off and say, “That will correct itself once the cancer is under control. ” But she’s right. As much as I want to FEEL as NORMAL as possible, I want the Cancer gone because that leads all roads back to NORMAL.
So to sum up the symptom list for today: swelling is almost gone in my left wrist and arm (yaaay), swelling is the same in my ankles, stomach and back (booo), has gone down to 275ml at the nightly lung drain at 8pm (yaaay), nausea has all but subsided (yaaaay), breathing is more difficult than ever because of the stomach fluid (booo), I have meds for pretty much anything so there’s at least some relief if anything gets too gnarly (yaaay)

My second round of chemo IS happening Thursday morning despite the tussle (yaaay), We’ve been able to hang with my sister, Linnea who is helping us for 4 days (yaaay), and little Will keeps the rest of us in great spirits overall. (yaaay)

That’s where we stand here in late June and no one but God himself really knows what new thing waits for us tomorrow, but I’m ok with that. He tells us that today has enough trouble of its own. And you know what? He was right.