The ongoing sleeping/eating challenges with Will are here pre-empted by Nelson’s health issues and his escalating pain. Sadly, the medical community is still focused on it being a problem with his thyroid gland. If only that had been true….

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April 26, 2022 

My sickness still rages on in the form of a really intense dry cough and pain in my whole chest, top to bottom. Mostly that’s it, aside from being pretty tired all the time. I feel like I could lie down and sleep anytime, even right after getting up and drinking coffee. Even coffee has lost its luster, so to speak. Hard to swallow.

Right now I’m listening to Will scream it out in the next room. We had a really nice morning together so far, but it goes south whenever it’s time to eat or sleep. Once we get to that point, I try to feed him, which increases his irritation, then eventually swaddle him and cuddle him to sleep.

But once he’s in the crying mode with me, he’s not going to settle, so there’s just one other option. That’s to try to get him comfortable and put him in the crib. Then it’s up to him. After that, it’s usually complaining-crying until he goes into full “billy-goat” screaming mode. Right now, I’d say there’s a 10% chance he goes to sleep, but usually Mama will awake and rescue him. She has what he wants and can usually calm him, unlike what I can do.

I’m proud of him though. We visited the doc first time yesterday, and he came in at 90% for his age in weight and height. Doc said he looks and sounds great. We have our issues, but Annso is the eternal optimist, and that’s our saving grace most of the time. Attitude is everything.

There is a picture on the wall from Samuel that says, “For this child I have prayed.” It’s a great reminder about the miracle he is. I’m excited that he keeps growing and even though people say, “Don’t wish the time away or rush through it,” I’m not much into the newborn stage, I have to say. He’s adorable, but there are so many times when I have nothing more I can do and it’s just screaming, which has all this failure and guilt attached to it for me.

I try not to over-think it and just be thankful for who he is and what we have. I’m excited that at some point, maybe I’ll be healthy again and be able to lick this Thyroid thing, even if that means getting it removed. I don’t want to lose my voice box or any other disaster that might happen in a surgery. I wonder, does it shrink down if they just “kill it” like they talk about doing?

All I know is, this is no kind of life I live now. No exercise, very little joy because of the constant pain and fatigue of the whole thing. I know what it must feel like to be 90 years old. Super tired and lots of pain in the body all over the place.

But I’m excited about our trip to the mainland to camp our way across the US in our RV, the one we don’t yet have. I’m working on Ebay and Cragslist to see if I can’t get a good one.  

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 “The God of all comfort comforts us in all our troubles.” (2 Corinthians 1:4)