In today’s journal entry Nelson is trying to work out the purchase of a house with three apartments in it, asking God to do it by way of a miracle. He’s also been challenged to give up something he can’t let go of.

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August 17, 2022

I pray for victory in getting this triplex. We need a minor miracle to qualify for the financing, and lots of effort on my part to get the money for it, but I feel like it’s worth it. The way it came about seems like you, Lord, but I don’t want to over-spiritualize it.

Maybe you don’t care either way. If that’s the case, I pray you can help us to get it without a co-signer, without anyone coming alongside us, just us and You and our little tiny income.

We have lots to put down, but the income is what’s lacking. I pray for some divine help here, Lord. It would be so cool to get a rental property and live in it. We have been dreaming about that for years, but your will be done, not mine.

Annso has asked me to lay down the nicotine gum, saying her Mom brought an article that says nicotine somehow shields and hides cancer. I don’t believe all those articles, so I take it with a grain of salt. But hearing her say that spun me out and shocked me. I couldn’t believe how hard it hit me, the thought of starting to quit another thing.

Ok, I can do it, but just because I can, does that mean I have to? She doesn’t ask much of me, so I should just do it, but it [quitting smoking] was really hard, and I found myself fighting for it [nicotine gum] like crazy.

I guess it’s like another perk removed, or the threat of removal, during a time when I feel like I need the crutch the most. Jeremy was a great sounding board on the phone tonight. He has great encouragement for me and defused the bomb, in a way.

The gift Annso is to me has inexpressible value. She does everything for me. Just to have this moment of peace is so valuable to me. A panic attack is always nipping at my heels in this thing, so anything that takes away a small perk that gets me through is hard to imagine.

I ate 2 pieces a day back in Kona, but here, it’s more like 8 or 10. The days are long and stressful, and I lean hard on anything I can. I pray, Lord, for strength to do the right thing, whatever that may be. Please go easy on me.

I pray for healing of this constant neck pain. I don’t know why it’s here or where it came from, but it’s scary. I try to overcome by dwelling on you and your power over my circumstances and how no matter what happens, you win with us, and I will be brought into your kingdom.

I pray against panic and anxiety so I can be here for Annso and little Will, like the father you called me to be. I pray for strength, supernatural strength to stand on you alone and come out the other side of this thing alive and stronger than even before, if that is even possible.

Thank you for the financial blessings you have poured out on us this year, the provision you have poured down on us. I pray the numbers for this duplex will add up so we can get it without help from anyone else. Please perform a miracle in that way.

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“The Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places…” (Isaiah 58:11)