Today’s post has Nelson finishing up on yesterday’s entry with some harsh words.

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September 4, 2022, from yesterday:

Pride, rebellion, and unbelief. These are the sins of hell itself. These are the sins that say, “I deserve better from God than what I got.”

What do I deserve?

To continue:

I deserve hell on earth followed by hell in hell. I have received far better than I should get. God has given me way more than anything I deserve. “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:27)

Colin refers to Romans, the scripture I read yesterday about the clay speaking to the potter, questioning the purpose. Pride, rebellion, and unbelief. The children of Israel complaining about no water, wondering whether God is even among them. Grumbling begins.

If we are allowing discontent to set up shop in our own lives, we are becoming our own tormenters. I have found that I am a God-hater when I am discontent. Grumbling means you lose your discernment. Don’t trust a complainer. “When God wants to do an impossible task, he takes an impossible man, and he crushes him.” ~ Alan Redpath (right).

I have had the thought more than once that the cancer I have and being literally crushed by it is something allowed to come to me to save my soul or to literally keep me from slipping off the path of salvation. If that’s the case, I’m grateful for it. How can that be?

Well, I realize that doing ministry for a living is the best way to slip away from God and to be the only one who knows it. When you get cancer, it’s easy to ask God, “Why me?” and compare yourself to others you know, wondering why you got it and no one else did.

Lord, I pray for forgiveness for discontentment with what you have withheld. I don’t feel I even have control over it, but I want you help me get through it.

I have had the most amazing life and done some of the most amazing things a person can do, had the best opportunities (whether I have taken them or not), and been around some of the smartest people. I have no reason to be discontent or to grumble.

I pray you would help me in this area. I have so much. I am so grateful to you for being so kind and generous to me, for giving me Annso, for her parents who are such sweet believers and so nice to me, for this place, for the rain this morning, for being alone here and to have this time.

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“Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed.” (Luke 12:15)