Nelson’s Journal, 9/9/22, Part 1

Though Nelson is coping with increasing pain, he’s still hopeful that God “will end this sickness” at some point.

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September 9, 2022

“I will exalt you, Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me. Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me. You, Lord, brought me up from the realm of the dead; you spared me from going down to the pit. Sing the praises of the Lord, you his faithful people; praise his holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” (Psalm 30:1-5)

Sitting at our little kitchen apartment table in Rochester this morning at 5:22 am. It’s one of my favorite times of the day, other than that little morning period with Annso. But on the other hand, my body hurts so bad it’s crazy.

I have such pain in my neck, chest, and a few other places if I move around. Headache. Just pain everywhere. They can’t quite figure it out. I don’t have any pain meds that work on it.

I thought Morphine was the Big Mac Daddy pain med that took care of everything, but I was wrong. I take a couple 30 mg pills a day and there’s really no effect on this, whatever this is. Advil works better, honestly. I thought about maybe going back to the Oxy family, because at the beginning of this whole thing, I was able to manage the pain much better with those.

Anyway, I found this verse today, and I love it. I have to believe that God is a part of this. I don’t know why he would do this to me or allow it to happen, if I’m supposed to learn a lesson or something, but I’m trying to just pray that he will have mercy and end it at some point.

Meeting with the doctors and trying to figure everything out works to some extent, but mostly not. God does it in the end. Lord, you have brought me out of the pit before, and you can do it again. You did it with drinking. I just celebrated 16 years sober, which is a miracle and a direct answer to prayer. I am so grateful to you, Lord.

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“Your faith is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold.” (1 Peter 1:7)

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