Today Nelson is pondering the brevity of life as we all race through our days with full to-do lists.
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October 17, 2022
Last year at this time, I was concerned about many things on the YWAM campus and at Hale Ola. There were little things I was meaning to do, fix that door, figure out a way to make that run smoother, put a security light here, submit this or that request to the campus CFO team.
Then basically one day the sun rose, just like any other, but that day, I was in the hospital and the news came. “Cancer.”
Luke’s advice came with it. “Move to Minnesota and come to the Mayo clinic.” And all of a sudden God released us from working and living on that island in the middle of the Pacific.
All my “to do” lists were reduced to nothing. I think that’s how it will be when we die. I felt that in the hospital. Everything you think is important or the people who depend on you changes. You are lying there, helpless, and you realize it. There’s nothing you can do, just accept what has happened.
We think we’re all “necessary” and important, but we’re not. If any of us died, the water would just fill in around us and the people would move on. You see it over and over all around you, so why wouldn’t it apply to you, too?
Someone leaves a place or dies, and everyone moves on. What else are they supposed to do? We always told ourselves that when it was time to go, we would know it. And that was the day. It did come suddenly, and we knew it. TIME TO GO. And we went.
Now here we are, and I see it as God’s plan for us. He moved us here, and I actually like it. I was at the end of my time there, and I felt it, but didn’t know it.
I think I’m actually happy to be here. I just wish I didn’t have the cancer part to go with it. On the other hand, it brings crystal clarity to the ‘why’ of it. I know, and so does everyone else. We’re here because of the Mayo.
Annso and I have our little baby, and we are here to ride out this season, however long it lasts. And if anyone was in question about how long we would be, we bought a house just to send a clear message that we’re in no hurry to move on.
I think it will be the same. God will let us know, and when he does, it will be clear, and we’ll both know and agree on it.
“Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.
Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.’ As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.” (James 4:13-17)
Another snippet from the “Epistle of Straw,” but I like this little book even though Martin Luther didn’t. You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. It sure does lean on the side of works-oriented living. “If anyone knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”
Well, if that doesn’t give you a ton of “works” to do, you’re not like me. Because when I hear that, I can think of all sorts of things I could do if I just “tried a little harder” or “did just a little bit more” and I’m off to the races of working my way into God’s approval again.
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“Show me, O Lord….how fleeting is my life.” (Psalm 39:4)