From Margaret: The reason we’re posting Nelson’s journal entries on this web site is because we’re hoping all of us can be encouraged. Nelson was an example of how to keep faith strong while waging war against the struggles of this world. All of us have battles to fight, and all of us are tempted to lose hope when things look bad.

Many of the entries Nelson wrote in his journal were thoughts he didn’t share with us at the time. Now we’re learning the nitty-gritty of how he made it through.

Ann Sophie and I haven’t read ahead in the journal but are taking his writings one day at a time. Through these posts, we’re hoping to learn from Nelson’s example how we (and you, too), can continue trusting God, even on our darkest days.

                                                       >>>>>>>>>>

November 22, 2022

“A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? To the person who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth, to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.” (Ecclesiastes 2:24-26)

Trying to pull myself out of a hole this morning. The night was a doozy. I won’t go into details, but it was puking and trouble breathing, which has been normal for me lately. Will and Annso are in the bedroom, and I’m in the chair in the living room.

I just took a walk to the Caribou Coffee by the clinic to get an espresso to pick me up this afternoon. It’s the beginning of the winter, and it’s getting darker earlier and earlier.

I am fighting panic about breathing, pretty much all the time. I pray, Lord, that you would help me overcome these fears, so I don’t need to make Annso nervous, too.

We are this little family, and I feel like we’re a flickering light that’s about to be blown out…. every day. But somehow we last another day.

I don’t know why you allowed this to happen to us, Lord, but we trust you with the outcome at the end, and thank you for the evidence of things along the way. Amen.

I don’t know whether or not I’m relying on you, Lord. I rely on coffee, Annso, Morphine, and a handful of other things, but you give those things, so maybe I do rely on you. Who knows.

I see your hand all around us, getting things for us like this house that I never could have gotten without a miracle. The lines are grey, but I would give you the glory, if given the chance.

                                                    >>>>>>>>>>

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart…” (Psalm 73:26)