Last night had me battling worry over our immediate future. Each day seems to bring a new problem for which I don’t have the answer. For example, today Nate’s hand began having blips of weakness when it would go limp for an instant and then recoup. Because of this, he spilled (onto himself) one glass of water, a whole cup of coffee (lukewarm) and his dinner plate. Hospice is wonderful in their knowledge, experience and willingness to teach me what to do, and our kids are eager to help. But during the night, as I lie alone in bed, the heavy-handed truth is that I’m the one running the show.
In the daylight I don’t doubt God will point to answers for every new issue that arises and that this will continue unendingly. During the night, however, I worry, hanging onto this truth by my fingernails.
This afternoon I needed something special from God, because tears seemed to continually wiggle just behind my eyes. Walking Jack the five blocks to the beach would help, I was sure, since getting a look at that wide horizon and meandering along the wave line has always been calming. I checked to be sure the boys would watch over Nate while I was gone, then leashed the dog and headed out.
All summer we walked to the beach in flip-flops, kicking them off at the base of a small dune on the way to the water. Today it was socks and shoes. I missed the feel of sand between my toes, and as I climbed the dune, shoes on, I thought of my favorite sandals, a gift from a good friend. They came from J. Crew, a place I never shopped, and were navy blue with “straps” of white and blue seersucker. The part between the toes was hot pink, and they were oh-so-comfy.
In a lifetime of coming to this same beach, I’d never lost a sandal. But last summer I’d returned to the base of the dune one day on my way home, and my beloved J. Crew sandals had been missing. I looked everywhere that day, but they weren’t to be found. It was a disappointment, and I credited some creative middle school kid with tossing them into the woods or the nearby creek as a prank.
Today, as I battled worry about what was ahead, my eye caught something bright in the sand. It was a dot of pink, not a natural color at the beach. I bent over to get a better look and got a shock. Peeking out from under the sand was the between-the-toe piece of a flip-flop. Could it be?
I dug around it and lifted out a navy sandal from J. Crew with seersucker straps, twisted and bent, but definitely mine. Those wiggly tears spilled over, and I talked out loud to God, stunned by this unusual token of his kindness. “You did it, God! I can hardly believe it! Thank you, thank you!” God had given me a “good gift from above” (a really unusual one) on the exact day I needed it.
Digging in that same area with the hope of finding the other flip-flop, I bumped into it several feet away under eight inches of sand. My favorite sandals had come back to me after being lost for nine weeks. There was no explainable reason except that God saw my need and decided to do something special to take care of it. It was as if he said, “Quit worrying, and quit hanging on by your fingernails, because I’m hanging on to you.”
On my frequent trips to the beach during the last nine weeks, I’d unknowingly been stepping over my flip-flops again and again, buried in the sand beneath my footsteps. They’d been there all along; I just didn’t know it, because I couldn’t see them.
God had used an object lesson to make a point with me, just like Jesus often used objects to teach those following him. When I’d been feeling alone and burdened with worry during the night, he’d been hidden from sight (just like the sandals). But in reality, he was telling me, “I’ve been there all along.”
“I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden wealth of secret places so that you may know that it is I. I am the Lord, and there is no other. Besides Me there is no God, the One forming light and creating darkness, causing well-being and creating calamity. I am the Lord who does all these. I will go before you and make the rough places smooth.” (Isaiah 45:3,5,7,2)
This is so crazy! I love how God works! So amazing! I don’t even have words! 🙂 GOD IS GREAT!
We’re studying II Corinthians in our SS class. This week, the passage is 5:1-10. Here’s a portion:
“…we know that when these bodies of ours are taken down like tents and folded away, they will be replaced by resurrection bodies in heaven – God-made, not handmade – and we’ll never have to relocate our “tents” again. Sometimes we can hardly wait to move – and so we cry out in frustration. Compared to what’s coming, living conditions around here seem like a stopover in an unfurnished shack, and we’re tired of it! We’ve been given a glimpse of the real thing, our true home, our resurrection bodies! The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what’s ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we’ll never settle for less. That’s why we live with such good cheer…. Do you suppose a few ruts in the road or rocks in the path are going to stop us? When the time comes, we’ll be plenty ready to exchange exile for homecoming.”
May you, Nate and the children know the joy of these promises this day. “One step at a time.”
I can picture it all in my head,the dunes were we kicked off our flip flops….Amazing! Crying with you!
I love it!! that is one of my favorite scriptures…and God never ceases to keep me in awe of His ‘little life surprises” I call them, to show us His great love, grace and mercy.
I can’t even number or explain the ways you and your family inspire me. After reading your blog (and Linnea’s) I almost always feel like I’ve just had a worship experience, like I’ve just experienced a touch from the Lord. Thank you for being so transparent. I know it helps you navigate through this time, but it helps all of us immeasurably, too. You are loved (and we’ve never even met; that’s how good God is!).
Margaret, through these many years, I, too, have experienced many object lessons from the Lord. I get so amazed, and that’s when He seems to tap me on my right shoulder and says, “Why are you so amazed? I told you I would be with you!” Even now, as a Widow, I call these “events” the Desserts of Life. I don’t get goose bumps, I get Glory Bumps, so to speak. When you eventually have hind-sight, you will really be in awe! Your daily writings are beautiful examples of your love for the Lord. We love you! I pray that today will be a very special day for Nate.
Margaret, God has a way of meeting us in our need in a way that only He can. It is unexplainable. What a mighty and wonderful God we serve! Thank you for putting into words the many feelings that are going through your mind. The prayers of many (saints) are upholding Nate, you, and your family. May God continue to pour out HIs mercy and grace.
I could never be as profound and insightful as you, Margaret, but Marjorie’s comment above reminded me of a little thot: “stressed” spelled backwards is….”desserts”. May your days be filled with more of those kinds of serendipities. p.s. Does Nate still call you Meg? I remember when you and I shared an apartment, he sent you many flowers with Meg on the note! Love and many prayers.
As I read your words this morning, wiggly tears spilled from my eyes, as I marveled over the lovingkindness of our dear Lord who gave you such a sweet gift yesterday. That is an amazing story that just leaves me a bit stunned–to think that God in His infinite knowledge “hid” those sandals nine weeks ago long before you knew about Nate’s cancer and planned to reveal and return them at just the right moment when you needed a divine intervention! Love it. Psalm 119:147, 148, “I rise before the dawning of the morning, and cry for help; I hope in Your word. My eyes are awake through the night watches, that I may meditate on Your word. Hear my voice according to Your lovingkindness.” Praying. xo
Praise God for His marvelous provision! What an incredible blessing that He continually reminds us that we are held loving by our Father! You write so beautifully Margaret; thank you for sharing. Know that you and your family are being lifted up in prayer by more people than you may ever know.
Margaret & Nate, we do continue to pray for God’s strength for you day and night. You needed something special from God. You were longing for it, and God provided. We thank God with you for revealing his hidden treasure.
Margaret, What a great visual picture! Thank you for sharing all these ways that God is reminding you that he is walking with you every step of the way. Finding the heart stones on the beach is also one of my favorites. Also KNOW that you and Nate and your family have many, many friends “out of sight” that are praying for you and thinking of you and loving you from afar. When I wake up at night now, I’ll try to remember to pray for you because I know all those worries and fears loom largest at night. Love you lots!
God is there and I’m am so blessed to see how he is showing up for you at just the right times. You are blessing all of us and we lift you up as you continue to journey this road of life. May God continue to reveal himself daily so that you know he is hanging on! Lots of love to all the family, Rick Debbie and the Crady Bunch!
This heavy burden is not for you to carry alone. The Lord is showing you that He will carry you through this one moment at a time. There will be those overwhelming moments when your children will step in and relieve you of any decision, fears, tasks, etc., which can they are very capable of.
How precious also are Thy thoughts unto me, O God! How great is the sum of them!
If I were to count them, they are more than the sand. When I awake, I am still with Thee. Psalm 139:17,18 KJV
Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders which Thou hast done, And Thy thoughts toward us, There is none to compare with Thee; If I would declare and speak of them They would be too numerous to count. Psalm 40:5 NAS
The picture of your much loved sandlals in the sand, is evidence of the Lord’s countless precious thoughts toward you, Margaret. He knows you, He sees you, He loves you, and in His time He redeems and restores what is lost to us, His children. And on that Day, according to His promise that will include our earthly bodies. Giving thanks with you today…
Dear Nate,
I pray that your heart is encouraged to know that The Lord sees you, knows you and loves you. Today as I was reading Psalm 139 I thought of you,as though your name was written in every line. How I praise God that he is encouraging you in such amazingly personal and tangible ways, that He is with you all the way.
Wow! I’m amazed once again how great GOD is!! And I can picture me the beach and everything too.. miss it!!
Margaret I just got back from a difficult time with family and your scripture has encouraged me–look beyond what I see to what the Lord is doing. You are in my heart and prayers. Keep on keeping on my sister in Christ. He will always be there.
I’ve found, in my experience, that our loving Father cares about all aspects of our lives, and knows how frustrating are the minnows that bite at us daily. Giving you back the lost sandals sends one of those minnows packing – and lets you know, again and still, that He is right there with you. To all of you: Much love, much prayer, many tears (and He keeps those in a bottle, they are so very, very precious!)
What I especially love is that those sandals were the “comfy” ones, and a gift from a friend, giving you pleasure from two sources. Just yesterday my reading was on those occasions when Jesus seems to “hide” Himself, making us long for Him all the more. When we “find” Him again, He is that much more precious. How kind of Him to use shoes, as twin reminders that HE is the One running the show, after all!
Hi Nate and Margaret,
Thanks for your great words today. We love you both. We pray for rich times together, that God’s Word will continue to explode with meaning, and that it will revive your souls!
Dave & Kresson