With sparkle on my left hand and a fiancée I loved, all was right with the world. That is, until I walked into Mom and Dad’s house, leading with my ring finger.

Of course they knew about Nate. They’d met him two years earlier when we were still in college, and they liked him. He was a serious young man who looked up to his elders, deferring to them in conversation and displaying impeccable manners. They knew he was in the military with plans to be a lawyer, which sounded responsible. He was even Swedish.

So what was the problem? When I came in that day rejoicing over my new engagement status, they were completely taken by surprise. I learned later that Nate had actually had a conversation with Dad about one day marrying me, asking if that would be OK. Dad had assented but must have interpreted the conversation as meaning one-distant-day.”

Although I’d quizzed Dad about how to choose a good mate, he had no idea how close we were to making that decision. I’d been living away from home and teaching school in Chicago, and Dad hadn’t watched our relationship heat up.

Now that we were engaged, questions flooded their minds, and Dad’s brow furrowed. I was frustrated with their less than enthusiastic response to my news, and of course Nate was far, far away, learning to crawl under rifle fire.

Finally Mom said, “Well, we’ll just look forward to getting to know Nate much better during your year of engagement.”

“What year?” I said. “We want to get married by September.”

“What?” Mom said, and now her brow was furrowed, too. “We could never pull a wedding together by then!”

Dad suggested we wait until after Nate graduated from law school two years hence. “What’s wrong with taking your time?” he said.

“I can find a teaching job near the law school, and everything will work out. We’re tired of the long-distance thing.”

Mom’s chocolate chip cookies and tea helped nurture negotiations along, and after a well-timed phone call from Ft. Riley, my parents were feeling better. Nate had told his own folks about our plans, and they had no objection. They did, however, make it clear they wouldn’t be contributing to our day-to-day support, if we rushed into marriage before graduation.

Deciding to marry is serious business. Marriage is God’s idea, and he wants people to choose mates wisely. His desire is that every marriage stick, one man for one woman for life. Our parents’ concern was based on their love for us and the hope we were choosing well. Both couples, married nearly 30 years then, thought we were rushing.

But Nate fixed everything. He came up with a plan that would smooth things over and ease Mom and Dad’s nervousness. It would also answer some of the prickly questions nagging at them.
I was sure it would bring us all together quickly.

(Tomorrow: The Marrying Kind, Part III.)

”Appreciate those who diligently labor among you, and have charge over you in the Lord and give you instruction… Esteem them very highly in love. Live in peace with one another.” (1 Thessalonians 5:12-13, parts)