Last week I heard a radio broadcast focused on stem cell research, which has recently been in the news again. The topic of frozen embryos came up, as well as the competition for control of these potential children by two groups: eager science labs and willing adoptive parents. Because couples attempting in vitro fertilization usually end up with more embryos than they use, hundreds of thousands of these are awaiting release to one group or the other.

Embryo adoption seems like a wise solution, although an explanation of the child’s origins might be tricky. All of us are curious about how we came to be. Why did we end up male or female, and why did we land first, middle or last in the birth order?

The Nyman family was designed like this: boy-boy-girl-boy-boy-girl-girl. I say “designed” because I believe God puts families together purposefully, one child at a time. Whether born-into, adopted or originating as a frozen embryo, the Lord considers all the factors in his decision-making: which parents, what sex for each child, what birth position, what personality, what physical appearance, when in human history he/she should arrive and every other detail.

I remember Linnea approaching me at the age of four. “It isn’t fair!” she said, her freckled face full of fury. “You had four boys and only me for a girl!”

Before I could comment, she launched into a lecture letting me know I had no business tipping the scales so heavily toward the boy side. “Why did you?” she cried.

Yes, it appeared unfair. If we were voting on babies, her impression was I’d stuffed the ballot box in favor of boys because I liked them four times better than girls.

The answer that came to me was only two words: “God decided.”

Like it or not, that was the truth; the buck always stopped with him. I’ve been thankful on more than one occasion for his permission to use his omnipotence in this way, and as always when God shows up in authority, the debate ceases. Even a six year old knew she couldn’t fight him.

All of us have wondered at one time or another why we were born as we were. Because faith in God is the fulcrum of my life, I’ve always wondered why I was born to Christian parents who led the way to Jesus. What if Mom and Dad had been Muslim? Or Buddist? Or Hindu? Would I have followed their lead?

We aren’t in a position to demand answers to those questions. But I believe one day in heaven we’ll be shown, and when we hear God’s explanation we’ll say, “Ohhhh. Now I understand.”

Linnea eventually accepted her feminine fate, and I worked harder to partner with her in family femininity. Once she accepted that it was God who made her and her siblings as they were, she chose to partner with him in finding a solution to her problem, asking him every night to make a sister for her.

After she asked for many years, he made her two.

“I, Wisdom, live together with good judgment. And how happy I was with the world the Lord created; how I rejoiced with the human family!” (Proverbs 8:12,31)