Last week two friends tapped on my front door just before leaving town. They wanted to deliver a few things, among them an old copy of a newsletter I’d edited back in the eighties.
Nate and I were members of Moody Church in Chicago then and were raising our children with help from Sunday school teachers, pastors and other families there. I was on the nursery committee, a fun group that birthed lifelong friendships.
One of my duties was to put together a newsletter, the Crib Sheet, 20-plus pages printed quarterly. It was reader-written, and several columns were included in every issue: mothering tips, an interview with a grandma, menu suggestions, quotes from young children, medical commentary, several articles written by young moms, and a word from the nursery chairman.
Believing that fathers played a critical role with their young families, we asked one of them to contribute a short piece for each newsletter. Most were reluctant to write, and occasionally when print time came, I’d still be empty-handed.
This was the case in April of 1984, so I asked Nate, late one night, if he’d write our “Father’s Forum” feature. Last week when my friends came by, the Crib Sheet they put into my hands included Nate’s article. At the time he was 39 and had five children ages 12, 10, 8, 4 & 3.
Nate’s piece (below) made good use of 200 words with five summary statements followed by five examples:
Fatherhood
Fatherhood makes you aware of your own mortality. You appraise the birth of your child from your age: how old will I be when my child is 7, 14, 21?
Fatherhood gives you empathy for your own father. You remember your father’s words from an episode of many years ago which seemed incomprehensible or petulant. Now you appreciate what he wanted to tell you – the significance of his syntax.
Fatherhood affords understanding of the Lord. The metaphor used in Scripture frequently for the relationship between Divinity and man is Fatherhood – the Trinity – Father, Son and Holy Ghost. This use of Fatherhood shows us God’s power over us and concern for us.
Fatherhood gives fun and joy. You enjoy teaching your child to swim or ride a bike. You treasure his or her efforts to learn to speak, read, write and spell. You share the mirth of a two year old’s birthday party and a six year old’s affection for a kitten. You smile at the spelling of a boy of nine, grin at an eleven year old’s rendition of the Civil War and share time at the beach with all the kids.
Fatherhood is profound and yet routine; it is intimidating at times and yet fun. It is hectic.
I love my children. Nate Nyman
What a delight to hear from Nate. When I got to the last line, I started to cry. Even with the mild conflicts detailed in his final point, his firm conclusion was, “I love my children.” And he made sure Crib Sheet readers knew it.
Our friend Dr. John Elsen (with 11 children) says, “Most men are unprepared for fatherhood.” Nate was no exception, but God cares deeply for young fathers and willingly co-parents when asked. He was helping Nate, and he knew it.
Nate’s bottom line, though, is the reason Nate’s children rushed to be with him when the chips were down, because even though young daddies make mistakes, love covers a multitude of sins.
“Love makes up for practically anything.” (1 Peter 4:8b, The Message)
Thanks for sharing this. I love to see new (new to me) things Papa said or did or wrote. Love you.
It is wonderful that Nate’s words were preserved, and given to you. I especially love Nate’s last 3 sentences!
I remember those Crib Sheets – what a God-thing that your friend brought that by. Nate was truly an amazing man, husband and father. I knew of him while I was at Moody Church but I feel like I know him through your blog. Thanks for sharing his words with us today.
Lately the struggles of being childless have given way to tears, regrets, what ifs, and deep sorrow. This is a quiet struggle, within me, unknown to even my husband. I would have loved the nursery but it was a constant reminder of my barron womb. I am now out of those child bearing years and my name is not Sarah. Someday the guilt and wretched sadness will subside, for now, it is a dull ache deep within my heart. I take by faith that Gods plans are the best, I cannot and will not accept that my life and the plans He has laid are second best.
Too precious for words….and the timing for your friends to drop that off to you is perfect!
To Anonymous #2. Bless your heart for being so open about your pain and for clinging to what you know: That your Father knows best. My He richly reward your desire to honor Him.
Margaret, I, too, remember the Crib Sheet. It was always a delight! I don’t remember this one with Nate’s article, so it is especially nice to read it today. I will make sure that Nathan reads this, anticipating their first baby soon. Such good counsel. Love, Sue
We met you through the Nursery, too, at Moody Church in the early 70’s. Do you have any idea where Lou and Doris Bush are or The Wharton’s? Lou and Doris learned they were pregnant and announced it at a Sunday School outing at the skating rink at Marina Towers. What great memories. Remember skating that night – underscoring what fun parents could have? You and Nate are a forever pair for sure.
We have been gone and I am just now catching up–going from newest blog to oldest is working the best! I have missed your blog Margaret and the wonderful way you remind us of Gods goodness and grace!! Nate’s incites into fatherhood were so right on–and by then he had learned a lot he could share! I was stunned to see the Tom and Annie Otto name on this blog–they have been lost to us for so long now. I would love to connect with them! could you help? I can still remember the day we four (Otto’s and Warton’s) sat behind Lou and Doris and invited them to SS class! Like it was yesterday!