Nate was an intellectual, and I used to wonder if my goofy questions were too foolish to ask, not wanting him to think he married a dummy. My mind was like a wind-tunnel, whoosh-in-whoosh-out. Nate’s was like a funnel; information poured into him and stayed there. His favorite leisure activity was reading, especially newspapers, and wherever he sat, a pile of printed material would accumulate. Once it was in his head, he didn’t need the hard copy.
I well remember the day I was planning to ask Nate to read a certain book I’d found helpful, so we could discuss it together. It was about making a good marriage better, and I knew it wasn’t his preferred genre. But I had an idea. First I’d ask him if there was anything he’d like me to read. Then I’d ask if he’d be willing to read something of mine.
When I asked what he’d like me to read he answered, “A daily newspaper… daily.” And surprise-surprise, that wasn’t my preferred genre. Nate loved to discuss current events, and my end was usually no more than a battery of questions. I knew he wished I’d be better informed.
He then said, “And what am I supposed to read?” and I handed him the marriage book. He looked it over and said, “Sure. I’ll take a look at it.”
The next morning, after he’d read the first newspaper of his daily four or five and had left for work, I spread out Section 1 on the kitchen counter and began to read. In the next few weeks I gleaned enough from 10 daily minutes with the newspaper to handle dinner conversations, and he perused the marriage book enough to talk about it. Eventually, however, we fell back into our old preferences.
Interestingly, though, Nate wanted to keep it going. He began marking newspaper pages with ballpoint pen, drawing arrows at articles here and there he thought I’d like to read. Sometimes he’d scribble comments in the margins.
Gradually I applied his condensed method to the books I wished he’d read. I’d Xerox a couple of pages, write a note at the top and set them next to his newspapers. He always read them, sometimes adding his own comments next to mine and handing them back. Our “distilled” system worked well throughout the years, and we were still using it until the cancer took away his ability to read.
Sometimes I think of God as the #1 intellectual of all time. He’s fully informed about every newspaper subject, having actually orchestrated the details behind the world events reported in the articles. Yet he’s also interested in close-to-home topics like good marriages getting better.
He uses creative ways to point his arrows toward the parts of his Word we need to read, and his comments are written all over it. Best of all, though, he’s eager to participate in the conversation. And when we call on him, he answers with, “Count me in.”
“Moses and Aaron were among his priests, and Samuel was among those who called on his name. They called upon the Lord and he answered them.” (Psalm 99:6)
Steve and Nate were so much alike in this way! Steve emails articles to me or sometimes prints them to read aloud to me. But he is also faithful to read the “how to…” books I leave for him. Maybe I will forward some of his current events articles to you, as Nate would have done.
I know in the bigger picture it is good we bring different gifts and abilities into marriage and family, but I often mistakenly believe I would like it if everyone was just like me!
I am glad that God already “knows it all” and is willing to share, if I will just ask.
Thanks for yet another insight, Margaret.
This is super. Thanks for sharing!