Although it’s St. Patrick’s Day today, I’m still thinking about Valentines Day. I’ve just thought of a great gift every husband would love: a list entitled “TEN REASONS WHY YOU’RE MY HERO.”

Since Nate is gone, it’s too late for me, but I know he would have loved receiving such a list. Many men are under-confident in their abilities as husbands, and written reassurance would probably feel good.

The list could be ten character qualities you’ve seen in him or ten experiences during which you’ve watched him perform well. Wives and husbands often share secrets no one else knows about, and a hero-list might be ten of those. Or it could simply be ten reasons why you love your man.

Once in a while I see a Facebook comment between a husband and wife that’s upbeat and complimentary. Because it gives me a little burst of joy, I imagine the recipient feels joy-times-ten. Sadly, though, it’s more common and much easier for us to take our spouses for granted and assume we’ll always have them. The fact that more marriages break apart than stay together is a testimony to the lie of that assumption.

But there are ways other than divorce that marriages can fail. Loneliness is a cancer difficult to cure. When schedules get crowded, we expect spouses to understand and sacrifice couple-time for the greater good of the whole. The needs of children, too, can override time together and squeeze the love out of a relationship.

My mom often said, “You began as a couple and will end there too, so make sure you put him first all along the way.”

This is a mouthful when it comes to everyday life, and I wish I’d done it better. Nate did well enough for both of us, which probably caused me not to be as attentive as I should have been. But I missed many a chance to enrich his life by not communicating that he had hero status to me. Three sentences he often said were, “I love you; thank you; and I’m sorry.”

In a wife’s mind, these valuable words are the glue that holds a relationship together. When a person says these things, he/she isn’t taking a partner for granted but is nourishing the relationship and moving it forward.

Marriage was God’s idea, and once we tie the knot, he’s involved. Whether we sink or swim is important to him, and he offers to help us when the relationship gets frayed at the edges. I believe he’ll also quiz us about our behavior when we eventually stand in front of him. It’ll be part of “giving an account” of how we lived.

My chance to better my marriage is over, but those who are still married can lavish happiness on their #1 earthly relationship while simultaneously gaining God’s approval. So, putting your husband on a hero-pedestal becomes win-win for both of you and makes every day Valentines Day.

“Each of us will give an account of ourselves to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another.” (Romans 14:12-13)