Last week while driving from Michigan to Chicago I listened to a fascinating radio interview of Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar, the Christian family with 19 children and TV fame. Our family had its own Duggar-esque experience in 1989 when my sister’s family moved in with ours for a while.
We were 12 children and 4 adults, morphing into a family of 16 for six weeks. The kids look back on that time as the highlight of their childhoods. Mary and Bervin’s family was adding a second story to their ranch home. Without water, heat or benefit of a roof, they needed a place to stay.
We begged them to bunk with us, knowing how much fun it would be, and they agreed, but with one stipulation: that they buy all the food for the duration. Of course Nate and Bervin wrangled over this, but I saw it as God’s lavish blessing. Our family was at its low point financially with Nate’s business collapsing that very year.
I’ll never forget the night Bervin walked in our front door after a day at work carrying a fresh watermelon. Nate and I hadn’t splurged on fresh fruit for many months, and the sight of that big watermelon refreshed my soul. With 18 around the dinner table that night (my folks included), that melon came and went pretty quickly, but it tasted sweeter than any I’ve had since.
During the weeks we were together, the chicken pox hit, as well as the school science fair, but we also celebrated several birthdays, a couple of graduations and a few blue ribbons for those science projects. There were no squabbles, despite having to sleep on the floor, cram into vehicles and wait for meals. It was a happy time for all 16 of us, and when my sister’s house was ready for them to move back, we mourned the separation.
Not everyone likes to “live large.” Having to wait for the shower or being without private space can be frustrating. But God is deliberate in putting families together. He matches up husbands and wives and calls some to be single. He sends biological babies or not, sometimes choosing to bring children from the other side of the globe to complete a family. He asks some couples to be childless in order to parent the children of others. His creativity in grouping us knows no limits.
We can arrange or rearrange things to suit ourselves, but stepping away from God’s lead is risky. His best may seem endlessly “just around the bend,” but we can trust that whatever he’s preparing will be worth our wait. Putting people into families was his idea first, and he knows how to satisfy our needs to love and be loved.
I’m single now, but I’m not lonely, because God has called me to it. Remembering our Duggar-esque weeks as a mega-family, though, makes me grin… and want to take a nap.
“Father to the fatherless, defender of widows—this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families. Rejoice in his presence!” (Psalm 68:5-6,4b)
Ha ha! Great post! I’ll never forget that stretch of time with all of us living at 103. I remember that we just couldn’t understand why we didn’t always live together when it was so much fun. 🙂 Love you!
How wonderful to be a part of such a family! I feel so blessed to know them.
God uses such families to provide support and strength from each other.
Great post!! I remember when I came to the cottage in England for Hans and Katy’s wedding. Since I lived with the “kids” in one part of the cottage with one bathroom for many of us (8 I think) Hans told me I have to fight for the bathroom if I want to get in there.. I had to fight like a sister. I’m used to have one brother so it was awesome to have a “big” family for a few days!
This verse has always been one of my favorites…but what fun to see it fleshed out in your family! Isn’t it fun to be a cultural anomaly?? 🙂
When I was living in Africa, I shared my great glee over my 96 yr old grandmother still independent and “living alone” all these years. The shocked faces of my audience told me I had not hit the desired note! Later, a good friend told me that being alone is practically a curse here,(Africa) and only the most hard-hearted family would ever allow their grandmother to be alone. That opened my eyes!! And within months my grandmother fell and moved in with my folks, and was never alone again till she died at 99! God is amazing in showing us what He values, not just our cultural bias.