Last night when Jack and I took our late-night walk, he threw himself into the fresh snowdrifts with his feet in the air six different times, reveling in the doggie-joy of making snow angels. He made six angels in eight blocks, a lot of happy dancing, even for him.

I hadn’t dressed warmly enough and was counting the steps till we got home. By the time we reached our driveway, I was shivering but did my own happy dance while opening the back door. Jack, however, was disappointed the walk was over and planted himself at the street-end of the driveway as if to say, “I wanna stay out and play!” Same facts. Two perspectives.

I often think of Nate in this regard. Although he trembled when he first heard something serious might be wrong, after accepting the terminal diagnosis, he became peaceful. For me it was just the opposite. When I heard “pancreatic cancer,” I stayed strong and was able to encourage Nate. But after he accepted that he would die, I broke down often, aghast at that prospect. Same facts. Two perspectives.

I have a choice to look at my “destiny” as Nate’s wife from two perspectives, too. I can dwell on the negatives brought by his death, or I can view widowhood as my calling. Depending on which of those two viewfinders I’m looking through, I can either self-talk a poor-me mentality, or count my blessings.

Many widows would reject the idea that widowhood is a calling. We think of a calling as something special like being called to missions, teaching or the pastorate. It hints at unique giftings and fulfillment in using them. People are called to singlehood, marriage, motherhood. But widowhood?

The word widow conjures up thoughts of a black widow spider, along with the words toxic, venomous, lethal. Books and movies with the word widow in their titles are dark comedies or scary dramas. At best we think of widows as lonely, disadvantaged and needy. Can it be a calling?

I believe it is. Because I’ve committed my life to God’s leadership, I regularly ask him to superimpose his plans over mine. I tell him I’m willing to go through whatever he decides is best to teach me what he wants me to learn. I know my earthly life is preparation for my eternal life, and I’m aware of the many rough edges he needs to eliminate to get me ready. If coping with widowhood is his way to accomplish that, then being a widow is what I want.

As extreme as that sounds, it jives with Scripture: “God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” I’ve been called according to his purpose, and his purpose for these days is widowhood. But lest I despair, the verse also says God is working for my good, within my widowhood-calling. And when he offers to work in my life in any capacity, I’m for it!

Same facts. Same perspective.

“We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:28,31b)