When I was a little girl, Mom forced my sister, brother and I to take piano lessons, just like most young children. I remember quite a few skirmishes with me on the piano bench refusing to practice and Mom in the kitchen saying, “You’re not getting off that bench till I hear you play!”
By 5th grade, I begged to go another musical route: the violin. If Mom would just let me take violin lessons, I’d practice without arguing. Really! Every day!
She didn’t give in until 7th grade. The junior high school had an orchestra, so she negotiated with me. “If you’ll join the orchestra and practice like you say, then OK.”
Poor Mom. She sprung for a violin and hauled me to Evanston every week for a 30 minute lesson, but fairly quickly the practice problem resurfaced. In the end, after two years of lessons and more conflicts than Mom could stand, she sold my violin out from under me announcing, “You’re done.”
But not quite. When Birgitta turned 4, she began begging to learn the violin. I ducked her pleas for quite a while, but when her best friend Ellen began begging her mom, too, we compromised by letting the girls split lessons, 15 minutes each.
I wasn’t prepared when my childhood longing to play the violin engulfed me once again. I rented a violin and took lessons by auditing Birgitta’s lessons. I practiced faithfully for nearly a year, performing a duet with my daughter in the family Christmas program. But she quickly left me behind in her abilities, and once again it became difficult to practice. (Surprise, surprise.)
I didn’t re-rent the violin and haven’t played since. Birgitta, on the other hand, studied for 10 years, wowing us all with her beautiful music. Ellen is still playing.
Yesterday in church we were treated to a performance by a trio of sisters, a pianist, a cellist and a violinist. As they played “To God Be the Glory” with flourish and force, my love for the violin surfaced immediately. I closed my eyes, longing to climb right into the music. Oh, how I wished it wouldn’t end.
Later they played “How Great Thou Art” with the same incredible style, the violinist’s shoulders dipping in commitment to the music, her ponytail swinging. Something deep in my soul responded not just to the violin music but to the Lord, and I started to cry. Wanting to breathe in the notes, I ached to make them mine. The craving was intense, unexplainable in words.
But God understood perfectly and let me know. He whispered, “This is what heaven will be like for you.”
And it took my breath away.
Now I know why I never stuck with practicing. No matter how hard I tried, I knew it would never sound like that. But some day…
“As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.” (Psalm 42:1)
Margaret with a tear in my eye, I just wanted to tell you how I love your posts.. thank you. I giggled at your sparkly party episode and shed a few tears with you this evening longing for our perfect home. But, this morning, on the way to work… I was noting your joyful attitude as an admirable example to follow. So thankful for your blog!
Good morning, Margaret. I can relate to your blog today. I had to take piano lessons as a kid and hated it. My mom and sister are both gifted musically on the piano but I longed to learn the flute when I was in middle school. Unfortunately I never asked to take flute lessons and gave up music lessons forever. Then when my niece, who plays the flute came to my corner of the world to shop at the best flute store around I finally shared my secret dream of playing the flute to her. Her reply still echos in my ears “It’s not too late, Aunt Judy, to try.”
The music on Sunday morning was so awesome and moving. They were scheduled to play in our choir Christmas Concert but it was cancelled due to bad weather. Our resurrected life will be even more awesome!!
You may not make music with an instrument, but you hit some perfect notes in your writing. Thanks for the beautiful “song” this morning.
So, my question is….what is there to stop you from picking up the violin again….and possibly joining a local symphony orchestra or play in a church musical group? I personally believe God gives us talents and gifts to pursue, enjoy and return to Him….who created us for His pleasure and fellowship. There is a scripture – I don’t remember where it is….at this moment…but I’ll pursue finding it. I believe it’s in Ephisians. Give it some consideration. We don’t have to wait until we get to heaven to enjoy it’s benefits. Life on earth is part of ‘kingdom living’…prelude – if you will – as God’s children – to please Him…and if we can enjoy it – PRAISE HIS NAME!!! Go for it Margaret!
What great memories….those two girls wanting to play a note so badly and having to wait a month while they just practiced holding the violin! The violin does something to the soul, doesn’t it? You are right, it is a glimpse of heaven on earth. I should say a violin well played, because we went through the scratchy years and I think there is a reward in heaven just for that perserverance! Love to you, Margaret.
Dear Margaret – We have a mutual friend who told me about your blog. I have been following your journey and learning from your thoughtful posts for nearly a year.
I have two violins, (one was mine, one belonged to my father in law) and play neither. I have been wondering what to do with them – I would love to give one to you! If you would like it, please let me know. (PS Getting it to you will not be a problem – my friend goes to Bethany Beach all the time.)
There you go….how good is our God? He knows our needs before we do and the vessel He will use to meet them.
the scripture I was looking for in my above comment – I Tim.4:14-16. I had it highlighted – years ago…and had just read it – maybe a week ago…and was also reading in Ephs…so for some reason was thinking it was there. anyway….whether you play well enough to join a group or not – do it for yourself and ‘as unto the Lord’…He will help you to go as far as you desire with it….and will enjoy listening to you no matter if it’s in your home or Carnegie Hall !
Blessings