Our family has now passed the 2^nd anniversary of Nate’s death. Before I left for California last week, I sent a group email to my children (7 kids, 2 in-law kids), detailing how I was feeling about the anniversary and where I was in my grieving, asking if they would please share how they were doing, too.

Reading through their responsive messages as they came to my inbox, my heart was flooded with love and hope. So, as an encouragement to all of you who wonder if your grief will ever lift, here are snippets from their heartfelt emails. (Since I’m doing this without permission, their names have been withheld.)

*      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *

• There were so many things we loved about Papa. His dedication to us all and so many others was obvious by the way he worked so determinedly and freely gave himself to the work God entrusted to him. He cared for you, Mom, so well, and all of us were unconditionally blessed to have had such a great father.
• I’ve been good at moving forward as a person, but some days it just doesn’t feel right to move forward without Papa. It’s a strange feeling that’s difficult to put into words. I guess I feel like the more time goes by, the more I lose him for good.
• Things come out as time goes on. I feel sad and miss him most when I’m far away. Nonetheless, I’m happy for all the time we had together.
• He has “missed” 2 years of our family, growing, changing, and experiencing life. I have to choose not to dwell on that or it overwhelms me with sadness.
• I’m very thankful we were all together when Papa was sick and when he died.
• This second year I’ve been remembering more of the good things about that time. All the family dinners by the fire, the food people made for us, the way the Petersons were right there with us (esp. Bervin and Mary), and the last conversations we had with Papa.
• He was a gracious person to me, and that was God’s character shining through.
• Papa was an original.
• I feel thankful for the years I had with Papa and all he did to make my life happy and full of blessing. I’m thankful for all he did to make my life that way even now, after he’s been gone. I’m also thankful to be able to fall back on the thought of seeing him again someday.
• I miss Papa a lot, and sometimes it feels really unfair that he’s gone. We can’t call him or ask for advice or hear his laugh. But as he would say, “That’s life, kid,” and he’d push forward.  So that’s what we have to do. Push forward.
• Papa showed us there was humor to be found even in the seriousness of life, and he laughed at strange things, but mostly he laughed at himself.
• It’s hard to surpass Papa’s generosity. 
• I love remembering how warm and sunny it was the day of the funeral and how so many people who loved Papa came to pay their respects. I also remember how your stocking, Mom, was sliding down at the graveside, and you didn’t want to stand up to throw the rose because of it. Even during one of the saddest moments, God gave us something to laugh about.
• Papa was a scholar, a hard worker, selfless, had limitless generosity, a godly man, a loving man, and he is being rewarded now for all these things.
• I still miss him and think of him every day.
• I wish we weren’t spread out across the globe. It seems like we should all be in the house together on Thursday night, sitting in a circle by the fire, eating Chinese and talking about Papa.
• In Philippians, Paul is at the end of his life and seems to know it. To be at the end and talk about rejoicing and how his life was “poured out like a drink offering” for the faith of others, made me think of Papa.
• I am who I am partly because of the father I had.
• My overall feeling today is gratitude and respect for Papa.
• Today I feel sad but very loved.
• Papa will always be missed while we are still at home in the body. It’s difficult now to go on without him, but it’s such a joy and comfort to know that a day will come when we will be reunited in the presence of Jesus.

        *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)