It was another rough Sunday for us. I guess that’s how it’ll be for a while. Nate had a strong presence with all of us every Sunday, devoting his day to family. After Adult Sunday School and the worship service, we’d always go out for brunch. Nate’s preference was a breakfast restaurant that served omelets, preferably a Denver or his favorite, a salsa omelet with extra salsa on the side. Since family members took turns choosing where to eat, he didn’t always get his omelet but willingly ate (and paid for) ribs at Chile’s, orange chicken at Panda Express or lasagna at The Olive Garden.
More often than not, there were extra kid-pals around the restaurant table every week. His answer when our kids asked was always, “Sure, they can all come.”
During the meal, we’d chat about the morning sermon and sometimes end up in a deep theological discussion. Other times it was sports or school stuff or vacation plans. Talk was never dull as all of us competed for “the floor,” and laughter was the punctuation in every conversation.
Nate’s favorite Sunday brunch/lunch spot was a restaurant in Wheeling we always called “Grannie Annie’s.” Its real name is “The Original Grannie’s,” and I think our name for it came from the former owners thirty years ago. Nate became good friends with the current owner and couldn’t praise the staff enough. “They always keep our coffee cups full,” he’d say. Nate loved coffee, whether high priced or generic, and drank it without reserve. During one brunch at “Grannie’s” I counted. He put away 12 cups even before his omelet arrived. “But they’re such small cups,” he said.
When Nate got his first cell phone, he loved using it to call “Grannie’s” and tell them we were coming. Like many restaurants, they didn’t take reservations, but we were frequent visitors with many eaters, so they did it for Nate. “Hi, George. It’s Nate Nyman. We’re bringing 13 today, and we’ll be there in 15 minutes.” Usually our table was waiting, a gift to a large family that usually has to wait to be seated.
All the waitresses, every one of them efficient and professional, got to know Nate and his generous tipping. “They’re trying to support their families,” he’d say, “and a little extra can’t hurt.”
Today after church it was just Louisa, Birgitta and me. “Can we go to Panera?” they asked.
Even that question brought a pang of sadness as I thought of how far we were from “Grannie Annie’s” now that we’re in Michigan, and also how far from Nate, who hosted us there literally hundreds of times. But the Lord knew we needed a boost today and provided it by way of a meaningful conversation the girls and I had at Panera. We talked about eternal security.
Of course Nate was at the center of the conversation, and today’s punctuation was tears rather than laughter, but it was good to get our thoughts out on the table. The girls, at 19 and 21, are thinking deeply about life and death issues, an important undertaking most of their friends have not had to consider. The process doesn’t come without pain.
The three of us talked about how much we miss Nate. I think one of the reasons Sundays are difficult is because of his strong leadership as brunch/lunch director. To sit in a restaurant without him is like hearing an orchestra play without its conductor. The symphony is familiar but the rhythm is off.
“Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me: for my soul trusts in you: yes, in the shadow of your wings will I make my refuge, until these calamities be overpast.” (Psalm 57:1)
“Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye who hope in the Lord.” (Psalm 31:24)
Wht a delightfully happy man in the photo! He must have enjoyed his family, conversation and great food. That tradition you still carry on and obviously it is still meaningful. How precious that he had the opportunity to treat his family and their friends. We could never afford that as the children grew up and even later. You are blessed.
Marni, this entry hit me especially hard today. As one of the ‘kid-pals’ I always found myself trying to get a seat close, if not next to Nate, especially as I got older.
His wealth of knowledge on current affairs and his accute perception on our times was one of the things I loved most about Nate.
And Amanda and I always spent part of our drive home talking about Nate fidgeting around with his silverware and drinking from 7 different kinds of beverages throughout the event. It’s so tragic to lose such a great guy.
Dear Margaret,
Your words about brunch after church reminded of a day when Emi and Kenzo were a part of your whole family brunch. To top it off they helped the clan in going to pick a tree for Christmas. What I thought was just going to be a free lunch time for me to visit with other adults turned into a whole day on my own. If I’d have known I would have planned the time better.
They were delivered by you and Hans back to our apartment with a gingerbread house that they had helped decorate in the early evening. Your family’s generosity was unexpected. When I asked if the kids had fun that looked at me like “what do you think!?!”. I am so appreciative of that warm, large family experience that my kids had. We miss Nate and also having you close by.
Lovingly, Lisajoy
Hi Margaret,
Some days are Psalm 22 kind of days, and others are Psalm 23- two sides of the same page. Sounds like Sunday was a Psalm 22 kind of day. Some days you ride the crest of the waves, full of spirit and promise, and other days they come crashing down and crush beneath their weight.
I read this quote from St. Augustine this morning, inscribed in the page of my journal-it is my prayer for you today- somewhere around a Psalm 22.5. “God of our life, there are days when the burdens we carry chafe our shoulders and weigh us down; when the road seems dreary and endless, the skies grey and threatening; when our lives have no music in them, and our hearts are lonely, and our souls have lost their courage. Flood the path with light, run our eyes to where the skies are full of promise; tune our hearts to brave music; give us the sense of comradeship with heroes and saints of every age; and so quicken our spirits that we may be able to encourage the souls of all who journey with us on the road of life, to Your honor and glory.” Amen and so be it.
I also read in Billy Graham’s devotional this morning the challenge to be a Barnabas in the life of another. Thus my comment to this entry. The Lord has laid you on my heart, and I am not sure how to do that, as I am standing in a long line of people who are being a Barnabas to you, each in their own gifted way and bend. I don’t have anecdotal stories or shared experiences with your family ( except perhaps that I was a math teacher to some of your children- not exactly heartwarming, though I did notice Hans’ use of the word symmetry in one of his comments several blogs back! :)) I do have His Word and I pray that He would occasion me to share something from it that would be a morsel of nourishment when your soul needs it.
Terry
My heart is filled with both sadness and joy, as I think of Nate’s life and his death. I am honored to know your family.
Those Sunday meals are some of my favorite Nate memories. He could talk and smile and drink coffee simultaneously.
Margaret –
We have also enjoyed brunch at Granny Annie’s – w/ your Mom. It was the #1 place she recommended – and it was delicious.
I am praying for God’s merciful guidance for you all – as you adapt to Nate’s absence. A blessing that your girls and you had a meaningful lunch conversation yesterday.
wow Margret… I do remember one visit with you all to this special place that Nate loved! You toke me there one sunday when I was down visiting you in April 2008.