Nate and I always loved summer best. Our birthdays are both in August, which established summertime as party time when we were children. As kids we also spent hundreds of hours every summer in the water, delighting in time at a beach or pool. Once we had children of our own, there was no better vacation destination than a beach. What else is so much fun for all ages and stages? Summer also let us keep our windows open for weeks at a time and eat dinners outdoors where clean-up was a breeze. The summer season meant road trips, long evening walks and the absence of a school-schedule-dictatorship. Summer was our favorite.
Even so, I’d never dispute the loveliness of spring or majesty of autumn. But here I am in that fourth season, bleak wintertime. A Michigan blizzard is clawing at my windows, and the car is buried in snow. Our driveway needs shoveling again, and incredibly tall trees are bending perilously, giving in to nature’s forceful winds. In addition to all this, my heart and emotions are in a winter of their own.
I’ve always wanted to do whatever I could to keep winter at bay for as long as possible, mostly because it’s the opposite of summer. But every season has it glories. God proved that to me today. Jack needed a walk, so we struck out for the lake, despite the wild weather.
Our first glimpse of the beach was striking, despite tasting sand mixed with flying snow. Waves roared in unison with swaying pines on the bluff, and the dune, with its swirl of sand mixed with snow, looked like a giant bowl of fudge ripple ice cream. Suddenly I forgot all about summer, shouting over the wind’s racket about the splendor of winter. Jack wondered if I was in distress, but the view was so exhilarating, it just spilled out in words. God is right. Every season has its beauty.
That’s true about life, too, and even about death. When Nate died, the process of letting him go was much like an icy winter day. Our emotions were dark and stormy with sadness, and when he died, he became cold and lifeless. Yet the best spring of his existence came immediately on the heels of that wintry cold as he stepped into the warmth of paradise.
Every season has its advantages and disadvantages. Personally, I’ve got one foot in life’s autumn and the other on the edge of winter. How this next season of aging goes is up to God. Only he knows when my eternal spring will begin. I may live so long that looking back at 65 will seem like summertime, but I hope not.
Nate is blessed, because he will never have to experience the negatives of life’s winter season. He died in his autumn. If I have to travel a long time in winter, I want to have eyes that accurately take in the view. Just as today’s wintertime beach amazed me with its beauty, so there will be good things about life’s winter season, too. Although a fresh crop of troubles will most assuredly accompany it, Scripture tells me God is “a very present help in trouble” …. not just present, but very present, so even that can’t be all bad.
I’m thankful for the 64 summers I’ve experienced, as well as the emotional summers of life. I’m also grateful for the other seasons, and that includes barren winters. And, contrary to nature’s winters which don’t produce crops at all, our emotional winters often yield the finest harvests of our lives.
“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” (Psalm 46:1)
”As long as the earth remains, there will be planting and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night.” (Genesis 8:22)
Dear Margaret, Two years ago, when we were packing to move, I came across a large starfish. Either Louisa or Birgitta had brought it for me — from a winter trip to the beach. I treasured it, not only because of who gave it to me, but because it reminded me of warmer breezes! Margaret, I have been praying for you and your dear family since I heard of Nate’s illness and death. Then I discovered your blog — What a beautiful testimony and source of encouragement! Thank you for it. I will continue to pray. Love, Launa Smith
While a student at MBI I would take walks to the lake front in all seasons. My favorite was winter. Huge chunks of ice would be floating and the waves would crash around the walk near Oak Street beach. It was breathtaking!
Obviously, from your photo and the many times we walked on North Beach Chicago in the winter, God paints majestic pictures in the cold and wind. I never like to be cold. But there is a time for each season. I am in the winter of my season and yet there is fruit for Him in the winter. Never a vacation time with Him and watching saints go before me, always the opportunity to learn takes place. Praying for your journey to continue to be one of learning and lots of fruit in your life and the lives you are even now touching.
As I was reading today’s entry, this song immediately came to my mind. I haven’t sung it in years, yet, remembered it; it brings Comfort.
“Yesterday, today, forever, Jesus is the same. All may change, but Jesus never. Glory to His Name!”
Thank you, Lord, for the recall of Scripture and Hymns, when we need your Comfort. Powerful!
I’m not much of an ice cream eater, but from the picture, that was a perfect description of your view today- even the harshest weather looks beautiful… of course, from the vantage of my desk. He has planted you right in the middle of all things that praise Him… “all deeps…snow and clouds… stormy wind… hills…trees and all cedars…” Psalm 148:7-9. Deep calls to deep as His creation mirrors what is in your heart, and moves it to join in the song. Praying for you today.
Terry
PS- teachers… and teachers who are parents… also feel that school schedule dictatorship- good word description- I give far less homework than my earlier, dense days.
Margaret…you write so profoundly sometimes that I just pause to think through your insights and the truth of what you have written. This is not new truth, but as you have and are experiencing what it is like to walk through your husband’s suffering and your own great sorrow and grief, your faith in God’s love and His Word tell us a magnificent story of God’s grace and faithfulness.
Your application of winter’s cold and harshness to real life is so accurate. Two things I appreciate so very much are air-conditioning in the heat of summer, and warmth in the bitter cold of winter. I don’t think I could live without either. But sometimes it’s necessary to experience both the oppressive heat and the bitter cold. As I look out my window today at the beautiful wintery landscape, I lift you up in prayer, knowing that your winter is long and bitterly cold and harsh this year. May the Word of God (as you so wonderfully share) warm your soul and carry you into springtime. And may the love and communication of family and friends give you the comfort and strength to make your “cross country” journey through this winter of sorrow and loneliness. And stay warm in your beautiful black coat! xo
Great pic from the beach.. i just got home from a ski camp northern up in sweden today. It was awesome with tons of snow and we do have some here too… My brother he fell when he was snowbording and went to the hospital and he starts to be better now. But it was kind of scary to get to know he was hurt.
Love Malin