Back in high school, when I briefly took organ lessons (Mom hoped I would play hymns), one of my practice pieces (definitely not a hymn) went like this:

You always hurt the one you love, the one you shouldn’t hurt at all.      You always take the sweetest rose and crush it till the petals fall.         You always break the kindest heart with a hasty word you can’t recall.

It certainly touted an attitude far from biblical hymnody. Hurting someone’s feelings, crushing a sweetheart, speaking thoughtless words all classify as cruel and unloving. But the last line of the song made it even worse:

If I broke your heart last night, it’s because I love you most of all.

Nonsense.

This sounds a lot like a cad twisting the truth to make his beloved forgive him. He says he loves her more than anyone else because of what he did or said that wounded her.

I don’t know why this song popped into my head today, but when I gave it a little thought, the chickens came home to roost. I was reminded of many-a-time when I expected Nate to understand why I had to serve others rather than him. For example, I’d make his favorite meal, then take it down the block for the family that had just moved in without saving any for him. Or he’d invite me out to dinner but I’d say, “I’m on a diet. Let’s go to a movie instead.” These things and many others made me as caddish as the guy in the song.

When we’re dealing with those outside our family circle, we control ourselves well. We don’t speak harshly, raise our voices, or lose our patience. Rarely do we say no. But those in our inner circle? We often take their love for granted and assume it’ll always be there, regardless of what we do. The truth is, those family members who are treated poorly by the ones they love don’t always stick around. When love isn’t reciprocated, it sometimes dies.

God loves differently than we do, carefully considering our needs. Jesus was the ultimate example for us when he put our needs ahead of his own. He took the torture and death we were slated to receive and did it eagerly… lovingly. Instead of “hurting the ones he loved” as the song says, he allowed himself to be hurt. He volunteered to be the “sweetest rose,” willingly crushed so we wouldn’t have to be.

There is no possible way we could ever pay him back for what he did, but one thing we can do is mimic his love by loving our family members sacrificially rather than hurting the ones we’re supposed to love “most of all.”

“He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:5)