My mother was a yes-mom who loved trying new things and taking risks. She especially loved children and thought every idea that came from the mind of a child was a good one. As a matter of fact, many of her adult ideas were childlike. For example, she used to have us collect rocks in a bucket then climb in the car. She’d drive us around Wilmette with the windows down telling us to throw rocks at stop signs to see if we could hit the middle and make a “ping”. To her it was good clean fun. Today she’d probably be behind bars. But being raised by a mom who never worried about the what-ifs made for a delightful childhood.
Actually, mom never worried about a thing. She used to tell us, “I have nothing to worry about; your father does enough for both of us.” That was accurate.
As we move farther into the new year, my mind wants to wander forward through the months, wondering what will happen. All of us look back to last year at this time when 2009 was stretched out in front of us and shake our heads remembering how little we knew. Here we are at another January, and after looking back, today we worry forward.
Worrying comes naturally to most of us. Last January we had no concerns about pancreatic cancer, yet it came. So our brains follow that with, “You’d better worry about that and lots of other things for this year,” as if fretting about the unknown could possibly help.
As Nate’s illness progressed, I worried about quite a few things. What if he fell again? What if he broke a bone and landed in the hospital? What if we couldn’t get him home again? What if I got the meds mixed up? What if he got out the front door and walked away without us knowing? What if he cried out in pain as he died or left us with an expression of agony on his face?
What if, what if, what if. Not one of these things happened. In essence, I worried for nothing. That’s one reason why worry isn’t good. A second and more important reason is that stressing about the future betrays a lack of trust in God to care for it. Scripture tells us worrying never helps a thing. (Luke 12:25) And more serious than that, it chokes out God’s efforts to guide us while we’re trying to be our own guides. (Matthew 13:22)
All of us have enough to do living one day at a time. We don’t need to mentally travel into the future putting down roots of worry there, wasting time and energy on unfruitful thinking while eroding our relationship with the Lord. He’s watching and making a continual assessment of what we need. Better than that, he’s the only one able to satisfy those needs.
I believe God is constantly preparing to take care of our basic needs ahead of our arrival to the future. We saw it happen again and again with Nate’s cancer and related needs, sometimes in dramatic ways. I’m ashamed to say I was often surprised when the needs were met, considering it a rare gift each time rather than the fulfillment of what God said he was going to do all along. Didn’t I believe him? Apparently not.
I hope to do better on that score in 2010, expecting my basic needs to be met through God’s provision, then responding with gratitude. That is precisely what Jesus was describing when he told us to “have the faith of a little child.” Children have faith that their parents will care for them and don’t wrestle with the what ifs. When parents do meet their needs, security and trust are built into their lives and they can transfer that kind of faith-in-parents to faith-in-God without too much trouble. We could take a lesson.
Maybe that’s what mom found so attractive in kids, their complete abandon of worry. As she spent more and more time with them, she became like them in that way. Once again, we could take a lesson.
There’s only one thing to be worried about: buckets of rocks in the back seat of a car.
“For all these things [food, clothing, shelter, goods, possessions] the nations of the world eagerly seek; but your Father knows that you need these things. [You won’t be] forgotten before God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are… valuable.” (Luke 12:30, 6b-7)
Remembering your Mom as the” why worry”in person.
She had such a life spark that no one that worries about things all the time can have. I wish to be like her but are far behind. Being a parent makes you worry either you like it or not, but I guess I’m the one after Adam that worry the least. As your Dad did my husband worry for all of us…
Your recollection of your mom is hilarious, and Wilmette stop signs no less- I’ll bet you have quite the pitching arm- I want you on my team. Must be why you and your sister have a penchant for stones.
Terry
Your mom was a godly woman with a sense of humor – both are very necessary qualities.
Aunt Pat is how I knew her. She was my Sunday School teacher the year we moved from Cleveland to Chicago. She knew how much I was hurting as a teenager displaced. Her love made a difference in my life then and now. She was a very wise, Godly women. She is remembered with great fondness.
Great fondness indeed. Another thing
Evelyn Johnson did was collect all her leftovers and have all the neighbor dogs over for a picnic–written invitations and all! Still praying for you my friend in THESE six weeks!
Your mom was hilarious. She always cracked me up. One of my favorite memories was her walking up my newly black topped asphalt driveway with a 3 ft square patch and saying “You must have buried your father there.” Every time i look at that patch i think of her keen sense of humor.
Hi again,
I’m on duty in the library right now as a math tutor, but they all seem to have emerged from break as experts, so I have some free time here. I have to tell you I have been chuckling periodically all day thinking about your mother and her able underlings flinging rocks.I know it was certainly not the focal point of this particular piece, but it has replaced worry lines with laughter… and that’s on topic. Shenanigans aside, I actually did wake up this morning with worry on my mind about a circumstance at school, but reading your blog nudged me to throw it back in the pit and put a lid on it… turns out… it was nothing.
Iron sharpens iron, so one (wo)man sharpens another- even a hooligan. 🙂
Terry
Oops- just noticed on school computer that it addressed my last comment as anonymous- see, I AM techno-dense.
Thankfully in England we don’t have as many STOP signs as you have, so maybe you’l be OK! We are looking forward to having you over here and spending time with your British/American grandbabies 🙂
xx
Marni, We do know the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Thank you so much for the chuckle I had with my boys reading this today. Fondly remembering Grandma Johnson. But I thank you my friend for the reminder to put things that we want to worry about back on the Lord”s shoulders. It so helps to be reminded to look at the year day by day and sometimes minute by minute. Miss you, praying for you
At the beginning of my journey as a single parent I heard some wise words about worry during a Mary Kay sales meeting. “Choose worry or prayer. If you worry you cannot pray. And if you pray you cannot worry.” Prayer is definitely a better use of your time and energy.
I can hear your Mom’s laughter as I read your story of collecting and throwing rocks.
I’m so looking forward to meeting your Mom in heaven…she’s somewhat of a legend down here, and your stories keep me not only smiling but convicted, (a good combo:) Chesterton and your Mom would have been great pals…one of my favorite stories about the great man was when a child was invited to his home for a birthday party, and asked when he got home whether Mr. Chesterton had been very clever. “I don’t know about clever” was the reply, ‘but you should see him catch buns in his mouf!”
Great picture and write-up of your Mom’s vivacious and loving spirit. And thanks, also, for a wonderful refresher lesson in the folly of worry. Blessings.
Dear Margaret, Thanks for the reminder about worry — many of us struggle with this. And thanks for the story about your mom. She was so special and kind to us when we came to Moody Church. I remember her smile and laughter and also her playing the organ. She also wrote to me about how much she enjoyed “Heartsong” when I was doing it.
I continue to follow your blog and to pray for you and the family. Love,Ruth