Looking out our front windows through a grid of icicle-bars, I saw three flashes of color dart past. Cross country skiers, right on the streets. With seven inches of fresh snow, they were taking advantage of winter on our unplowed roads. An hour later, as I was shoveling the drive, they glided by in the other direction. “Spectacular, isn’t it?” one of the women shouted as she passed me.
Once I got to the grocery store, employees chatted enthusiastically about the blessing of a good snowfall. “Please let me take your cart out for you,” the bagger said, grabbing his jacket. “I haven’t been outside for a while and want to get back in the weather.” This was a bagger-man in his sixties whose enthusiasm was impressive.
As a new Michigan resident, I was gaining insight into my fellow Michiganders, people who’ve dealt with the challenge of winter every year. Watching the bag-man wrestle my cart through deep drifts in the parking lot, I coaxed him to complain. “Will you have to do a lot of shoveling when you get home?”
“I love to shovel,” he said, with a dip of his chin. “What would life be without a challenge?”
The man had missed his calling. Instead of bagging groceries he should have been running a think tank. Of course he was right about life’s challenges, although most of us avoid them. That’s probably because taking up a challenge can end badly, not to mention the pain that can be involved. There is also a high probability of failure.
I love the biblical story of the warrior Goliath taunting the whole Israelite army. His specific challenge was for them to send one individual to “come and get him.” It was a double-or-nothing dare after which the loser’s army would become slaves to the winner’s army.
David couldn’t believe any Israelite would shrink back from Goliath’s challenge. After all, Almighty God was on their side! He didn’t even have to think about it but went after Goliath with fervor. The Bible says, “As Goliath moved closer to attack, David quickly ran out to meet him.” (1 Sam. 17:48)
Since he was just a “ruddy-faced boy” (v. 42), we could conclude he was motivated by the foolishness of youth and didn’t know any better. But David knew enough, that the God of Israel controlled everything, including a nine foot tall ogre.
We all know the happy end of this story, how David’s one smooth stone embedded itself in the evil giant’s forehead, knocking him flat and giving David time to rush in and kill him with his own sword. A giant-sized challenge was accepted and dominated, and for the rest of his life, David was a hero.
Although I never met David, I do know another hero I very much admire, my husband Nate. He was presented with a challenge few people on this earth are given: militant cancer along with a death sentence that would conquer his life in a few weeks. Most men would have run from this enemy like the Israelites ran from Goliath. Some might have exited the fight altogether by denying reality. Others might have railed against God for allowing the battle in the first place. Nate did none of these.
In my eyes he was a hero in that he squared off with the challenge presented to him. Although he responded to the appalling cancer news with shock and revulsion, before long he said yes to the challenge. Throughout his combat with disease, he was required to move in and out of acute pain physically, emotionally and mentally, as well as bear up under anguish of heart. Yet he didn’t shrink back or even ask why. Instead he asked, “Why not?”
One morning about half way through his 42 days of cancer, I asked him how he was feeling after a rocky night. Instead of answering me directly, he answered like a man in the midst of a battle. “Well,” he said, “we soldier onward.”
Some might say, “Yes, but he lost the fight. He died.”
To them I say, Nate won the ultimate prize, knocking death flat just as David knocked Goliath flat. He used death as a stepping stone into a joy-filled eternity, conquering his giant-cancer-challenge in the process. He won, and he is my hero.
“I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:14)
One observation. Possibly the not-somehow-but-triumphantly grocery-bagging warrior-widow-assisting parking lot-snowdrift-and-life-challenging man was right-on his calling and running a think tank as evidenced by today’s blog. “Warrior widow” and “death defying cancer-giant conquering husband hero”–I’d say he stirred up quite a tank of thinking today.
“Prexy” would smile warmly and share the outcome with “friend-wife”.
Thanks for this insight into Nate. Powerful stuff.
Margaret,
What a beautiful tribute to your husband in his last life’s mission.
Contrary to the contents of some previous comments, I am not a movie buff, but Braveheart came to mind as I read how your own David fought his battle. William Wallace was himself a hero, of Scotland, who was betrayed, captured and then sentenced to die. (I don’t know what he looked like in real life, but I’ll stick with my vision of Mel Gibson). The manner of execution was particularly gruesome, intended as a message to other dissenters. On the morning his sentence was carried out, he is seen kneeling and praying, asking this, “Help me to die well.”
Your Nate died so well. I was reading in that devotional and was left to consider dying grace and living grace in one of it’s entries. Not everyone responds so well to God’s grace, either in death or in life. In Matthew 5, we know God offers common grace as He causes His sun to shine on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and unrighteous. Yet, in that extension of grace, men still choose evil and unrighteousness. In the same manner, with the children of Israel, every time they complained and grumbled in the wilderness, He responded with more bread, so that they… continued to complain and grumble in the wilderness. I am just like them, though, and don’t often recognize grace when a huge wave washes over me and knocks me over on the shore.
But Nate took hold of dying grace and you and your children took hold of living grace. He fought the good fight, crossed the finish line, kept the faith, and has a crown of righteousness awaiting him. He indeed won and defeated his last enemy, and is a fitting hero for all of us.
“Lord, we are thankful for the heroes of the faith who go before us, those from centuries ago, and those right here and now. You offered Nate dying grace and he laid hold of it and triumphed through it. Now for those who survive him, give them the living grace they need to carry out every life mission You assign them. Amen.”
Thank you for great anecdotal stories that always lead to profound truths.
Love,
Terry
Wonderful post, as always. I love how you find God encouraging you in the little moments of each day, and then you share it with all of us. Ad and I are also very jealous of your snow! The icicle pictures are amazing! Love you.
i think i saw those two icycles(is that how you spell that?) hanging from the gutter before i left. great blog, Mom.
Thanks, Margaret…as always your evolving perspective on Nate’s life and death stir me to face my own giants….this one is 5’2″ and couldn’t lift the stone, much less the sword! And I’m no ruddy-faced youth 🙂 but God is right in the midst of us….2 women, learning how to live together in one small home. As I was transferring her from one throne to another yesterday, we collapsed in laughter….”Mom, did you EVER imagine when I met you at 19…that we would end up here, 43 yrs later??” We could not stop laughing….and I thanked God again, for grace that shows up at the most unlikely moments!